7 Months and Boise

My baby is 7 stinkin months old! Why!? :(

At 7 months Kinley...

*Wears mostly 6-9 month clothes but still has a handful of some 3-6 month clothes she wears.

*Size 3 diapers.

*Whether it's teething or a sleep regression or both, this girl has not been sleeping. She'll do great one night, but then the next like week she is up anywhere from every 45 min to mayyybe 3 hours. We have NOT been sleeping over here and it's taking a toll on this mama. So she get's up maybe once or maybe like 8 times a night. Just depends. 

*Teething and is fussier than normal. It's so sad :( 

*Squeals a lot. Especially at Caleb.

*Loves to watch Libbie.

*Loves being outside and that's where we go if she's been pretty fussy.

*Army crawls and scooting like crazy, 

*Alllmost sitting up unattended.

*Still loves her dad and thinks he is just hilarious. He can get the best smiles out of her.

*Still definitely a mama's girl.

*Getting sassier every day.

She is keeping me more and more busy every day. She's kind of at a stage where she just isn't content with much of anything and wants me to hold her all the time. I swear my arm muscles are gaining some muscle from holding her cause she is getting heavy! Although she hasn't been too content, she still is hilarious and it's fun to see her grow and learn. Her current favorite thing is the door stoppers. She'll sit and fling those things for a long time. haha. We love you baby girl!

Caleb had to go to Boise for his work again. This time he hitched a ride with a buddy so I didn't have to go. It's hard going with a baby anymore and when I do go I'm left alone at the hotel or stuck in my car browsing the town cause I had to check out of the hotel or something. So, for me, it's a hassle cause I'm always alone while he is at his meetings and what not. So, I opted out this time. I think it's a lose lose situation for me. I either go and endure a long car ride with a baby and do things alone the entire time, or I stay here alone which I hate so bad too. So, it kinda stinks. After I dropped Caleb off for him to head down, I may have cried. I don't know why I have such a hard time with him being away from me but I do. I hate being alone without him. It was the longest 2 days ever. I kept waking up all night cause I was alone, and I just missed him! The next day I chose to go run some errands that could have waited but I needed to kill time. So that's what I did. I was happy to have picked him back up again and back home with me. 

After phone tag again, we are scheduled to meet with the Metabolics doctor when we go down for our Neurology appointment in August. We're still waiting for a call back but it is for sure in August when we go. It is then that we for sure will repeat the urine test, and do more blood work. They will do blood work every time we go down to check her medication levels. :( That's the only tests I know of that have to for sure be done. I am nervous and don't even like thinking about what more they will have to do. So, if the month of July could go slow, then fast forward to September with us all being healthy would be ideal. 

Just a quick little postpartum update, my hair is still falling out like crazy. I do think it is slowing down some but I still am shedding like no other. Hair everywhere. On the bright side, the spots that left me bald on my hairline are starting to grow back. They are annoying and I can't hide them since my whole hairline is like an inch long but at least they are growing! I also have still been working on my weight loss and have successfully lost 58 pounds pre pregnancy. I work out about 5 times a week and am still careful with my portions. I only lose about 2 ish pounds a month so it's slow but it's healthy and still coming off which I am happy for. 

Other than that, we have been barely surviving this heat. We don't have ac. so the house gets hot. Usually high 70s or 80. I don't know what the hype about summer is. We've seen a couple snakes in our yard so I refuse to go out there since I have a true phobia of snakes, bugs everywhere, allergies, I sweat my makeup off, and not being able to escape the heat. It's annoying to shower and get all cleaned up just to go and sit and start sweating. It's super awesome! We are ready for cooler weather for sure! We are still trying to get our yard fixed/cleaned up. Some sprinkler heads are broken and we just haven't fixed them, so we are constantly moving the sprinkler around trying to get our lawn looking nice. We've sprayed the old garden that was full of weeds, and are slowly but surely getting it all cleaned up and looking nice. 

Epilepsy update and Father's day

I know this post is once again me being pretty open about things, but this is for me and I want to be able to look back on this journey and remember experiences and emotions and see how far I've come. As of tomorrow, Kinley will be 2 months seizure free. I cannot express how happy and relieved in that aspect I feel. I can't believe we went from having 8 seizures a day down to 0. And it's all thanks to this 2nd medication. I think about the situation a lot and I often wonder what would have been or what could have happened if I wasn't annoying and didn't keep calling the doctors to push what I wanted to do. I don't know. Just a lot of what if's I guess. Something recently that has been hard for me and very frustrating is this whole follow up appointment that we had for Kinley over a month ago. Long story short, when we went to her follow up, we were told that her metabolic blood levels came back very high along with some urine tests. We both don't love this particular doctor and after asking what this meant, we were left with no answers and were left completely hanging. Because of this, my mind has assumed the worse. I have googled and tried to research which I know is a big no no and now I am that much more freaked out. Our doctor said she would get back to us within about a week with the results of the blood tests that they re ran because they wanted to see if the results changed. Well, a week passed and I didn't hear anything. So I called. No return call. Seriously I have called and called and called probably 3 to 6 times a week for OVER a month now and FINALLY this doctor got back to us. I was ticked because she is just now telling us that we need to do another urine test to re check some levels in that, along with them referring us over to Metabolics. I am frustrated because THIS exact reason was what we have been trying to figure out for over a month now and we are just now finding out. What if this is something that needs attention and we just wasted over a month? I keep telling myself that If it were that serious, they wouldn't have let us leave the office that day without being seen. But as a mom and dad left completely hanging, what else would you assume? It's scary. It's terrifying. I have struggled immensely with anxiety since her seizures and I cannot tell you how many times I have had to have Caleb reassure me that she is OK and that she will be ok. Even though I am so grateful she has been seizure free for 2 months now, I still am slightly a hot mess about all of this. Mainly because this whole deal just isn't over. We still don't have an exact answer and we are still seeing doctors. Since we now have to meet with Metabolics to see if she has a blood disorder, I cannot help but be just sad. Sad for my baby that we have to go down once again for more testing. Testing that I know will not be fun nor easy to get. More blood work, more urine, and who knows what other tests. I hate that she is only 6 months old, still a tiny baby, yet has had to endure more than anyone should ever have to in their life. People should travel hours away for fun, not for medical reasons. I pray with all my heart every single day that she is healthy, will continue to be healthy, and that IF this is something that isn't ideal, that she can still live a happy healthy life. I didn't know prior to becoming a mom how many times I would bawl myself to sleep in pure worry for my baby, how many times I would pull her out of bed just to hold her while she sleeps, how I still let her sleep in my room and probably will till she's like ready to move out of the house, how much I would miss her if I wasn't by her long enough to give a haircut, or how much I could possibly love her. She is the absolute joy and light in my life. The older I get, the more I realize how family is truly what this life is all about. Being a wife and a mom is what makes my heart feel fulfilled. I struggle daily with the anxiety and am in the process of getting it under control. But to my defense, I have witnessed and seen things that were a bit traumatizing and very hard to watch and they are like burned images in my head that I cannot seem to get out. So, from here, I am hoping for a positive trip to see the Metabolic doctor, and a healthy baby. We've come this far and I plan on continuing a positive and bright future.

It was Caleb's first father's day! I didn't do a ton but still wanted him to know how much we love and cherish him. 

We gave him this and I also made one of his favorite dinners. I am so grateful for Caleb and how he is as a dad. I love more than anything his positive happy energy, his gentleness, kindness, and love that he gives to our Kinley. She adores him and is now old enough that she will cry when he leaves the room and then smiles and giggles when he comes back. He is becoming more and more of a softy as Kinley get's older and I super love it. We sure love you Caleb. Happy Father's day. <3

Family pictures

Yesterday we were able to get some family pictures taken. I've been wanting them for a long time since we now have Kinley. It worked out good cause she's old enough she can obviously hold herself up which in turn make the pictures a little better. We used our family camera and my sister is still learning how to use it. It's an older camera so it's hard to tell on the pictures how in focus you are. Most of the pictures were slightly blurry :( which stinks but they'll be good enough till we get the next set in like another 6 months or so. ha

Random happenings

Last weekend, my parents had gone camping. My sister and brother were back and forth at the campground since they had work. On Friday, my sister was headed back up there and since Caleb was working his 15 hr shift, I rode up with my sister and hung out at the campground for the day.

Since Caleb has been working so much lately, I've been trying to find things just here at home to keep me busy. I FINALLY got some curtain rods so I could hang up Kinley's valences. It made her room that much cuter. Her nursery still isn't done but it's getting there. 

Then I FINALLY ordered some curtains for our front room and sliding doors. Our couch had come in and was delivered the day my curtains came. It was like Christmas! So, I spent the next day ironing and putting up these curtains. I was nervous with the color of curtains because online it showed that the stripes were more of a charcoal gray vs a lighter gray. But, I'm actually really happy with how they turned out! It's crazy how much it changes the look and feel of the room. And, might I add, it is SO nice to be able to have a place to sit. We've lived in this home for 4 months without a couch and even the past years we've only had our futon really. It's our first couch we have ever bought since being married. It feels good that everything in this home is OURS. This house is slowly but surely turning into a home. 

Hanging out on our new couch!

Caleb has mainly just been working a lot. I feel like he just isn't home a lot. It sucks to be honest. I miss my husband! So does Kinley. If she gets to see him during the day, she is so happy! If he is home, he is doing something with the house or yard work (there is a lot that we have to do) or something that way. So there really hasn't been any time to just hang out. He's a trooper! 

I have just been chilling at home taking care of Kinley. I've actually felt quite awful the last few weeks. I have mentioned a few times over the years how my stomach has given me troubles. Those troubles have yet to ease up and the past few weeks have been quite miserable. It's made it so I haven't really been able to leave the house. I don't know if it's food allergies, hormones, something more like chrons even, or gall bladder issues or what. No clue. It's been depressing and it's hard to feel sick every day all day and not have it go away and still try to be a wife and mom. I am eating healthy, and taking care of myself otherwise so who knows. I think I may start trying out different elimination diets and see if maybe it's being caused from a food allergy or something. I think the first one I may try to eliminate is dairy since that one is more doable to begin with and just see. I guess we will see and I am praying for a miracle!

Kinley is doing great! After once again playing phone tag for the past MONTH trying to get all the blood test results back, we FINALLY have them all back. 2 out of 3 are still considered high. They said her results are borderline with us needing to meet with the Metabolic Genetisis. It may be something that our Neurologist can just monitor, it may not. We should know next week when our Neurologist is back in the office. So, we still are just playing the waiting game on what we need to do. As far as her seizures, she has done great! She is still taking two different medications a day and it is getting easier to make the one, and she is taking them both better than she previously had. We're getting it down. She is getting quite the personality and is getting sassier as time goes on. She's still such a sweet little thing and I seriously could not imagine my life without her. She makes me so happy and I look forward to every new day I get to spend with her. 

She currently has been doing this concerned scowly face and it cracks us all up.

Libbie has also been good. She drives me about nuts most days. She likes to be wherever Kinley is at and gets very concerned if Kinley cries. She gets jealous and super whimpery if Caleb holds Kinley. We are working on training her to pipe down some. Kinley LOVES Libbie and watches her all day long and laughs at her a lot too. 

Memorial Day weekend

Memorial day weekend was pretty low key. Caleb has worked his tooshy off lately. He'll be getting like 40 hours of overtime this check. So, I feel like he has been gone pretty much the full past couple weeks. It sucks not having him with me for holidays and nights or whatever. 2 to 3 times a week he works his double shifts which are about 13-15 hour shifts. So, I wake up alone, and go to bed alone. I eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner alone. Those days are especially long and I miss him like crazy. But, such as life. I'm grateful for how hard he works to provide for us. I'm also grateful that my family is close so that the days that Caleb is working allll day, that if I want too, I can head to my parents and have some company. So that's what ended up happening for Memorial day weekend. My sister came up from Utah and we had some other family in town. We spent the weekend outside, had a bbq, and just hung out with family. It was so nice to see my sister again. Here's a few pictures.

6 Months

6 months ago I gave birth to my Kinner bug! It's crazy how fast time goes by. It's so bittersweet!

At 6 months, Kinley....
*Wears size 3-6 mo clothes but 6-9 mo jammies
*Size 2 diapers
*Fake laughs all the time and it's hillarious
*Is rolling over! She gets to her stomach then gets mad
*Loves walks
*Has tried baby food and has so far liked everything she has tried
*Still wakes up 1-2 times a night
*Loves to cuddle me and is still a big mama's girl
*Thinks Caleb is theeee funniest

Seriously, life with Kinley is amazing. We are so grateful for her!! Here's a few more pictures of her recently.

Seriously a cuddle bug.

Rolls over then gives up haha

Salt Lake, Boise, and many more updates

So many updates in a short amount of time. Life lately has been nothing but crazy. We'll start with my sister coming to see us.

She came up last Thursday-Monday. It was fun this time! Not even anything crazy but things were slowing down enough that I could actually see her and spend time with her and my nephew. I miss her! I want her to move back so bad!

Sunday was Mother's day. For me, It was my first actual mother's day. I used to have a really hard time on this day. It always ended up with a pitty party and I'd cry on and off throughout the entire day. Now that I finally have my sweet Kinley here, I am so grateful, yet parts of me almost feels guilty because I still know friends and family that want to be a mom so so bad. That, or the people that no longer have a mom, or the people that have miscarried or whatever the situation may be, just makes my heart go out to them. I'm grateful to be a mom. It's one of my greatest things I've ever done in my life. I am also very grateful for my mom and my mother in law. The selflessness they gave throughout their entire life just makes me grateful. 

Thanks for finally making me a mom my sweet Kinner bug,

Mother's day was also the day that me, Caleb and Kinley had to leave to Salt Lake for a check up on Kinley. 

The drive down was very pretty.

Oh, and Caleb drove the whole way down. It's a freakin miracle! Makes life so much easier so I can help Kinley out when needed. She did awesome and slept for 2 hours.

We checked into our hotel, and then headed to dinner. We tried Rodizios. Not bad, but we thought it was expensive because there's no way we each ate 30 bucks worth of meat. But, there's a first time for everything.

Kinley is super into textures and is super grabby. She LOVES Caleb's beard and always yanks on it. It's hilarious.

Monday morning was when we met with the Neurologist. Here's how it went down. Since the one medication Kinley is on goes by weight, and since she is obviously a baby and her weight is constantly changing, that mean's we constantly have to do blood work to check the levels of medication in her system to know the dosage. Just in a weeks time, she went from good levels, to low levels which results in upping her medication. Since starting this second medication, she has not had a seizure which is AWESOME. She HAS however still had maybe a handful of her aura type episodes which are still considered seizure related which was also another reason we upped her medication. The goal is to be seizure free for 2 years before they even think about weaning any medication. If say she has a seizure in 1 year, that means we are back to square one and the clock starts over. She could still have a seizure here or there. Hopefully that's not the case and hopefully with the continuous blood work, we can stay on top of the right dosage for her. Another thing has happened and it's changing the whole ballgame of what's going on. Our last hospital stay, they did more blood work but this time checked metabolic levels. (I may be saying some of this wrong because it's still somewhat confusing to me,) Anyway, they had the results there and 3 of the levels were considered very high which was scary. They are thinking that since they are high, there may be something else going on and it may be the cause of her seizures. We aren't sure. They wanted to repeat the blood work to see if the levels stayed the same. We got 2 of the levels back and are still waiting on one. The two levels we got back had gone down some, but were still considered pretty high. So, once we find out the results to this last level (hopefully tomorrow) we will most likely be making an appointment with a Metabolic Genetisis down at Primary's to then see what blood disorder is going on. That appointment was hard. I know I've said it before, but getting the blood work is brutal. For some reason, they cannot get her little veins. They poke and poke and praud forever. They end up not getting it where they've been able to in the past, so they FINALLY got it in her little foot. We left feeling a bit uneasy just because we have no idea what to think about the blood levels. I'm an idiot and googled what possibilities are out there with what levels were high and got scared to death. So, I'm trying to stay hopeful and pray it's nothing serious. I feel scared, worried, yet kind of hopeful because we are that much closer to getting to the bottom of what exactly is going on. 

Right after her appointment, We pulled the cooler out and made sandwiches there at the car and got some lunch, got into our sweats, fed Kinley, then made the LONG long drive to Boise. It was nothing but long. The gps said it was a 5 hour drive. That's clearly without stops. It took us about 6 hours by the time we stopped to feed Kinley, and get gas. We both had never driven the highway from Utah to Boise and it was probably worse than the highway from Pocatello to Boise. There's seriously NOTHING. It was SO so SOOOOO incredibly windy too so the entire ride was SO loud, you couldn't hear music or each other talk or anything. We got terrible gas mileage, and it was just one of those rides where you couldn't get to your destination fast enough. Kinley overall did pretty good. Since she got worked up from her blood draw, she slept for quite a while which was good. We finally arrived at about 8 that night. We checked into our hotel, then headed straight to the new Big Juds in Meridian where Caleb's boss fed us dinner and gave us a tour. It's exciting see the restaurant grow! After that, we came back and headed to bed. That next day, we slept in...sorta...and layed around and took our time getting ready. Caleb's boss came and picked him up and they went off to the convention thing that we came down for. While they were out, me and Kinley went to Carter's. I found some cute clothes on sale. That's all I did while they were gone. I honestly just wanted to hang out. I feel like life has been so busy with going going going lately and it felt good to just sit, watch tv, hold my girl while she napped, and just take it easy. 

Crazy bed head

Caleb got back around 5 that evening. 

We then met up with Caleb's boss and his fiance' and son which are also some good friends of ours and went to dinner at a place called Goodwood. It was super good and a lot of fun to catch up with friends and see each others babies. They are only 6 weeks apart so they are fairly similar in what they do so it's fun. 

That next morning, we just woke up, got ready, packed up, and made the last stretch back home. Kinely was so done with her car seat. She had a blowout in the car so that was fun and not surprising one bit. We stopped once for gas, and once more to switch drivers so I could be in the back with the screaming child. ha

After she had a HUGE meltdown, then a nap, life was ok again!

We are glad to be back home and it feels good! We will be back down there most likely within the month for another appointment with the Metabolic Genetisis. If not then, we'll be down in 2.5 months for a follow up with her Neurologist about her Epilepsy. We'll have appointments with the Neurologist every 3 months as of right now. That's that for our busy weekend of traveling!

Onto other randoms.

Enjoying our backyard.

I know she's sad, but I just had to document her outfit! Too much cuteness!

So I know I have an OVERLOAD of mom and baby selfies. BUT, I just wanted to document this moment because these here are the moments I just love. I LOVE that she loves me to hold her. I love that we can just watch a show and she'll just lay on me with her hand on my arm like that. I love just cuddling my bebes!

Someone has LOVED our nightly walks!

Mornings are my favorite anymore.

I got to do my sisters hair and makeup for prom last night. She looked so pretty!

I finally caved and let Kinley try some baby food. It's bittersweet. She has LOVED it though. So far I've tried banana's and sweet potatoes and she has loved them both!

Since life has been nothing but crazy lately, we haven't been able to go to our new ward yet. Today was the first day at our new ward. She looks so cute in her little dress. It's always scary and I always have a lot of anxiety doing and going to new things, but we gotta start at some point!

So this is kind of a silly picture, but it's a huge thing for me. I've had so much anxiety since Kinleys been born and it got ESPECIALLY bad when she was going through her period of seizures. I have had her in our room next to my bed in a rock n play since the day she was born. Since she is SO close to rolling over and where she is getting kinda big for the rock n play, I know I need to transition her to her crib. Every nap she's had I've held her minus maybe like 10 times. But she's always been right near me if I'm not holding her. Today, I had her take a nap in her crib while I made dinner. It was kinda scary but she did good, and I did ok. I did check on her a million times even though I have the monitor that shows that she is just fine. Baby steps. If I have that hard of a time, I have no problem moving her crib to my room. :)