It happened again

My last post, I told how Kinley had a scare. After seeing the doctor that day I felt reassured. She had another mild episode on Saturday and then on Tuesday night, Kinley was asleep in her swing. I was video chatting with my sister and doing our nightly workout together. I turned around to check on Kinley and she was doing another big episode. Again, it looked like a seizure. Whether or not that's what they are, it's terrifying to watch and have no idea what to do in the midst of it happening. It was very similar to the one she had had on the Friday before. This time I noticed her eyeballs were actually looking very far up and to the left, along with the rythmatic eyelid and mouth twitching. She was completely unresponsive and her body seemed limp. It lasted again probably 30-45 ish seconds. Once it was over, a few seconds later, she gave me a smile and kind of went about her normal self.  I picked her up and texted Caleb at work and told him it happened again. I talked to my mom and again just cried to her because it's scary to watch and I just wasn't convinced with what the doctor told us on Friday. Since it was after hours of the doctors being open, I decided to wait and call the next morning to get her in to another doctor for a second opinion. That night was horrible. Kinley slept just like her normal self and got up in the night when she usually does, but for me, I cannot sleep. I'm scared to go to sleep. I layed there awake most the night and kept using the light on my phone to check on my baby next to me. I was nervous something would happen while I slept. I was doing some research which I'm sure isn't the smartest thing, but still, everything I typed in kept bringing me to different seizure pages. I feel that's what they are, but then again, I am no doctor and am not sure. I was told by the doctor on Friday that they weren't seizures. But he hasn't seen the episodes so how would he really know? Anyway. That morning, I called the doctors office in hopes I could get in to see my original doctor. He wasn't in that day so they had me be seen by a doctor I hadn't seen yet. Caleb wasn't able to get out of work so I was on my own. Fast forward to her appointment. It did not go as planned. The doctor I saw was the WORST one I have ever seen. After like 5 minutes straight of me telling this fruitcake what was going on, showing him a video of a more mild episode I was able to catch on camera, he literally said NOTHING. Nothing! All he said was, "well, I'll have my nurse get you a paper of a referral to a pediatric neurologist." K, great. But what do YOU think about it? That's why I'm here. I'm here for a second opinion. I felt completely like he did not care one bit and was just pawning us off. The appointment only lasted like 7 min. No joke. He was a waste of my time, money, and I definitely do not want him seeing Kinley any more. So, I left frustrated because I got no where with that appointment. I called the neurologist and set up an appointment with him. When I got home, I was just looking up this neurologist doctor and trying to do a little research on him. Long story short, EVERY review was horrible on him. Horrible! Yeah I totally want to take my child to what I hear is NOT a good doctor. And from my understanding, he is the ONLY pediatric neurologist in the area unless we want to travel to SLC or Boise. It's frustrating. I wish this part of Idaho had better doctors in ALL fields. I feel like I have come across this issue more than once in my life and it's just frustrating. So after me and Caleb talked, the game plan is to make yet ANOTHER appointment but with OUR doctor. It'll be the third time we are seeing a doctor about this but we still would like another opinion on Kinley's case before we just jump into a neurologist and put Kinley through unnecessary tests. We are going to keep her neurologist appointment since it's like a month away. If our doctor feels we need to be seen, we may just switch and get a referral to a doctor in Salt Lake or Boise or something. That way we aren't wasting time, money, and can be seen by a great doctor. The traveling makes things way harder but way worth it if they're good. Anyway, that's the update on Kinley. If you are reading this, keep her in your prayers. It could be something, it could be nothing. I don't know. Until I know though, I probably will still be the worry-er I am, the sleep deprived mom, and the mom that holds my baby non stop because these moments are precious and scary things make you hold your littles good and tight.