Like today. I think I woke up at least 6 times last night to tend to Kinley. I finally just get up this morning to start the day. I'm already exhausted from getting what feels like no sleep. Baby cries. I feed her, and change her. Baby cries. I rock her to sleep. I use this opportunity to hop in the shower. The second I get in, I can hear baby crying again. Caleb gets her. She cries off and on while I'm in the shower. I brush my teeth and I get out to tend to my screaming child. This afternoon was the only chance to get Caleb's hair cut before he had to go to work since he's blessing Kinley tomorrow (pray that she doesn't just scream the whole time). So I feed baby again and she dozes off. I use this time to cut Caleb's hair. Just as I get started baby wakes up and starts to cry. I'm covered in cut hair constantly going over to put her binkie in. Baby is screaming at this point and only half of Caleb's hair is cut. I pick her up, rock her to sleep, lay her down, and get back to Caleb's hair. The second I do, she wakes up and is screaming. I decide to just hurry and cut it. Bad idea, she cried so hard she like chokes. The girl has a set of lungs for sure. I stop cutting hair, pick Kinley up, rock her to sleep. I only needed about 3 more minutes to finish. I lay her down. she starts to scream, so I rush through to finish Caleb's hair. My hair has now completely dried and is a frizzy mess. I feed baby again and she falls asleep. I lay her down so I can spend 5 minutes on my hair to tame the hot mess. The second I put her down, she wakes up, starts to cry. Caleb tends to her while I hurry and do a quick straightening on my hair. I go back to my crying Kinley. I finally decide to give up on trying to get ready to head out to run some errands. It's just not worth it. I give up on attempting to do my piled up laundry. I give up trying to make myself look half decent today. I wrap up my baby and she is only content when I hold her. Today has been like every day this last week. Exhausting. I have cried from pure and utter exhaustion, feeling like a bad mom because my baby doesn't seem content, frustration, and then guilt because I got frustrated. Some times being a mom is hard. I never fully understood what other mom's meant when they said they couldn't get ready for the day, or was just exhausted from their morning, etc. I now know. Although there are plenty of hard trying moments, there are also very great moments that make me cry happy tears because I feel so blessed. Moments like when Kinley see's me and smiles. Although it's hard, I do secretly love the fact that I her mom is the only one that can really calm her down. She knows her momma. I love the morning snuggles. I love tending to her. Feedings are special, rocking her to sleep, her tight grasp on my fingers, getting her dressed in her cute little outfits, tender moments when she just stares at me and seems so content that she is with me. It's the smallest things that make me feel completely in love with my babe. I am so grateful and blessed to be her mom. She really is a special and precious little thing. We love her so much!
Cute as can be!
The tender moments that make me feel like I am doing something right.
First time to church! And it was awful to say the least. haha Sacrament was pretty good, then the rest of the time I hung out in the mothers lounge because she was so fussy. I ended up leaving church early since there was no point going to class 30 min before it ended with a crying baby.
More tender moments. I love morning snuggles. She seems most happy in the mornings.
She broke out in baby acne this past week. Just time time for her to be blessed tomorrow! :/ She's still a cutie though!
Smilin at her momma ;)
I had my 6 week postpartum checkup on Thursday. A little tmi here. I am still bleeding since giving birth. My doctor didn't love that and had me get another ultrasound. Things checked out good. My doctor said my lining was thin which typically means my hormones are still just pretty out of wack and just trying to regulate still. I'm supposed to give it two more weeks before they give me estrogen to stop my bleeding. Pray I don't have to do that because he said a lot of the times estrogen will dry up your milk. Besides that, the appointment went good. I'm down 28 pounds below my pre pregnancy which is a miracle to me. No clue how this is happening, but I love that it is! I really love my doctor. He makes me feel so comfortable and good. He loved seeing Kinley too. I'm sure it's rewarding to them to see the babies they care for and deliver. I will for sure be going to him for future babies.
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