Warm River, 70 lbs, sleepless nights, and Halloween

A couple weeks ago my family took an afternoon drive up to Warm Springs to feed the fish.

And here's a bunch of pictures, mostly of Kinley of course...

This girl and her bed head. Usually on the top of her head haha

Standing to lots of things

Let it begin....

Getting ready for the day is a huge chore in itself. There's no napping with this girl so I just make the best of it and roll with it. If making a HUGE mess allows me to get ready then whatever. haha she is constantly flipping the toilet paper roll so there's a huge pile on the floor, pulls out all my hair products, and gets into every drawer she can. Ya do what ya gotta do.

She is standing ALL the time and puts her hands up like this. haha She won't take any steps but I'm sure it won't be too long before she does and starts walking.

Down about 70 pounds! The weight loss is still going. It's slow and steady which I am happy with. I lose about 2 to 3 pounds a month. Sometimes I plateau and won't lose a pound for like 3 ish weeks but then It'll start coming off again. I've already been super happy with my results. My biggest thing I'd like now is to just tone up. I'm still watching my portions, and do my little workouts here and there. I'm tempted to toss the leftover halloween candy just so it doesn't tempt me. haha. Overall, I couldn't be more happy with my results. It's so nice to feel like I fit into clothes and do things I would have never done before.  

Another 2:30 am drive. I had 2 of those this last week and one of them didn't work after driving around for 30 min. This girl and her sleep is KILLLLING me. I thought maybe it was getting better but who was I kidding. She had a better like 2 nights then went back to her old ways waking up about 3-4 times a night, and each time taking anywhere from 30 min- 2.5 HOURS to get her back to sleep. Usually it takes at least an hour though. I sometimes get 45 min of sleep increments, or sometimes I'll get lucky and get a 3 hour stretch. I feel like I see a lot of the hours each night and it often feels like I've only slept for a couple hours combined even though it's 4 am. I've spent soooo many hours rocking in the chair in her room. People keep telling me to enjoy the rocking and although I do, I still would love to get some sleep. And when you are that tired, you're more frustrated than anything so it's hard to just fully enjoy the moment. Where Kinley is getting so much older, she doesn't really just sit and rock either. It is mostly a constant battle of wrestling her the ENTIRE time. She flips and turns and nurses and what feels like drains each side, then flips some more and climbs on me. It doesn't end. Her naps haven't gotten any better either. The other day she only slept for 10 min in14 hours. She fought me all day with not taking a nap. We're pretty much down to for sure only 1 nap a day and it's usually about 30 min. I've come to terms that this baby will just be one that does not sleep. I hope in future kids that they don't follow her footsteps. haha It's been exhausting but somehow you just learn to live with it and keep on keepin on during each day. I am praying that one of these days she will just start sleeping through the night! Fingers crossed.

Halloween weekend was a lot of fun. It's so much more fun with kids! I love knowing that each year will probably just get even better as Kinley gets older. We started it out by carving pumpkins with all my family on Saturday night. We do it in my dads shop and it always ends with a pumpkin seed flipping war haha. 

I am honestly the worst carver haha. Mine's the cat, Caleb's is the face, Kinley's is the little face.

Everyone's pumpkins lit up.

Ended the night with stories from grandpa.

For the day of Halloween, it was pretty much any other day. I cleaned the house and ended up last minute going grocery shopping because we needed more halloween candy. That night we handed out candy to trick or treaters. We didn't know what to expect since this is the 1st year being in this house. Previous years we never got any. But this year we got lots! I'm glad I ended up getting more candy because I would have ran out for sure. It was fun seeing all the cute kids dressed up and be so excited about trick or treating. This year, for the past week or so I had been making Kinley's costume. It was so easy, cheap, and turned out darling!

Our little Perdita dalmatian dog!

11 months!

Kinley is 11 months old! I cannot believe I have an almost 1 year old! :(

At 11 months, Kinley...

*Size 12 month clothes and size 3 diapers

*18 pounds

*Standing on her own and walks along everything

*Has 2 teeth

*Loves to read stories and points to her shelf of books every night before bed

*Potatoes, peaches, and mandarin oranges are her favorite

*She is busy busy busy and always getting into something

*Gives the best kisses

*Sleep is mayyyybe getting a tiny bit better but it really depends on the day

She is pretty dramatic most days but is also such a sweetheart. Happy 11 months Kinley!

Mommying can be hard and a couple randoms

Sometimes being a mom can be hard. It can be exhausting, trying, emotional, yet amazing, rewarding, and happy. Since having Kinley, we have had all the emotions. First with being smitten when she was born, so thrilled and overjoyed with love. Then we've had the absolute scary and horrific time of hospitals and seizures and medications and so on, and since she's been seizure free, things have all been great.....besides her sleep. I knew before I ever even had kids that for me I knew that the lack of sleep I knew I would get would probably be one of the toughest things for me as a mom. And I was right. Kinley is and has been a horrible sleeper pretty much since day one. She had her small moments that she would do well but it was typically when they were changing or upping meds that would knock her out for a while. Now that they are in her system, we kind of think that her meds is what is causing her to have issues with sleeping. Her sleep is very inconsistent so I can't tell you exactly how each night will go because it's usually different every night. However, I do know that I can't ever plan on a good nights sleep. And that has been very difficult. More difficult than I think people realize. It's one thing when It's a few nights in a row but then things go back to normal. But when it is night after night for months and months it really takes a toll on everything. My patience has been tested and is shot. My emotions I cannot control and I often find myself crying especially when It's 3 am and It looks like I'll be up for the day....or night. However you want to say it. It makes me feel like I'm a crappy mom and like I have no clue on how to raise my child. It's hard when it's a fight to get her to sleep every. single. time. She only naps for about 30 min a day and then anywhere from 7 to 10 hours at night but will often still wake up 1-3 times a night and usually each time takes a good hour if not 2 to get her back to sleep. Sometimes she'll go an hour at night, sometimes its like 6 and then very randomly, she may go a night without waking up till like 6 that morning. Those are extremely rare though. I honestly have no idea how she is growing and feeling good because I feel like I will take any opportunity I can to sleep and I feel sleep deprived. I feel run down a lot. Like a zombie. Burning eyes, and lots of headaches. These 15 min cat naps I get while Kinley sleeps isn't helping much. She's completely attached to me since she is nursing which results in me being the one that gets up in the night. I sometimes get very jealous if not angry when other moms tell me that their babies sleep 12-13 hrs at night and also take 2, 2 hr naps a day. Oh what I could do for myself if I had that kind of time. With the no sleep issue means I don't get me time which has also taken it's toll. I feel like God has really put me in a situation that has really had me work on my patience. I have always not really had any so I have honestly tried to work on it. I've tried to just let go and not be so uptight about things and just go with the flow more. I've stopped fighting it so much. If she refuses to sleep here, I usually will end up taking her on a drive and that usually has her out. I've taken more drives than I can count. But, it usually does the trick. I've enjoyed the day drives where I can go out and sight see or drive down a road I've never been on. The middle of the night drives are a different story. haha

Late night drive to put this baby to sleep haha her new stink face look.

Another pretty drive. Excuse the cracked window.

Another thing that's been hard lately is everyone being sick. I feel like Kinley gets sick back to back or either me or Caleb in between her. I feel like I am constantly taking care of someone that is sick and that's very wearing and hard too. This last week Kinley has had a fever that would not go down, she threw up one of the days, had a gurggly stomach, wouldn't sleep at night, yet would sleep on me a lot during the day which is complete opposite of her. It's been pretty tiring. I ended up taking her to the doctor just to rule anything out and he said her throat was red and that she just had a stomach bug of some kind. It's day 4 and her fever is I think almost gone. She seems like she is starting to perk up some. Poor baby girl. She's been miserable. Although it's so hard and wearing and you feel so bad for them, I do love the extra snuggles. It always has me a little more on edge when she gets sick, especially with a fever just because her chance of seizing goes up. It's always a constant worry in the back of my mind but I think when things like this happen, I just am that much more aware and am on "seizure watch". Anyways. That's my life lately.

Sick baby girl :(

She would just lay here on the floor and watch Clifford. She never does that. Poor bug!

Stink face

My sister came up a week ago and stayed for a couple days. We were headed out to go shopping and she showed up at my house in my old shirt, and I was wearing her old shirt. They are basically the same so we were matching all day haha

I love my days being spent with my baby. Before Kinley, the days I was just home and Caleb was at work doing his doubles (16 hr shifts) would just drag and get so lonely. Although they still do, it helps that I have my little sidekick to keep me busy.

This may be one of my favorite things that she does. ANY time she sits, she will just cross those cute little feet. Such a lady. haha

I made a wreath! All of it came from the dollar store. Cost me $7! Score!

And when Caleb leaves for work, Kinley will sob and point at the door. She LOVES her daddy.

As for other updates, Caleb has been busy working as usual. Some big things are happening and we are excited for our future. Can't say much just quite yet, but I'm so proud of him and all his hard work he puts in. Sure love that boy!

I'm just same old same old. Being a mom and a wife and taking care of my family. I feel like we have quite a routine anymore and it's overall good. 

Kinley, besides being sick and not sleeping well, is doing great. She is still seizure free which is great. She is growing up so much lately and has a new thing she does pretty much every day. She is such a light to me and Caleb.

Libbie is also the same. Today is actually her 6th birthday! haha We have had her for 6 years now. She is still her hyper self that gets depressed if she's not at Caleb's dads. Still very jealous of Kinley and HATES when Caleb holds Kinley. We have tried and tried to train her and nothing is working. It's been frustrating. We still hope that one day it get's better. 

Boise, 10 months, and random

Last weekend we headed to Boise for a wedding. It was Caleb's boss that was getting married. The wedding was on a Sunday so we left that morning, got to Boise, checked into our hotel, then headed over to the wedding.

This was seriously the only picture I got. Woops! The wedding was nice and it was fun to see our friends :) After the wedding, we headed back to the hotel. We only stayed the one night. That next morning was kind of a disaster. Both me and Caleb were not feeling well and to top it off, Kinley had fell off the bed. I felt absolutely awful. I literally turned my back for a second. I knew better. Scared us all but after a bit, she seemed to be ok. Just a conk on the noggin. :(

Kinley had a yucky head cold a couple weeks ago.

Even with watery and red eyes she was still smiles. Poor girl. 

Over this last weekend, my sister and her family came up from Utah again to celebrate her son's 2nd birthday. We had a party on Saturday which ended up being a lot of fun. 

All the grand babies

This weekend I came down with being sick. It's been kind of awful. I don't know what it is but I have felt pretty cruddy. I am grateful for Caleb when times like this happens because being a mom and an adult when your sick just stinks. Especially when It's bad enough you literally just want to curl up and not move. Luckily tonight I think I might be on the mend. Hopefully another day or two and I'll be feeling back to myself.

Thank goodness this girl adores her dad. Makes it a little easier knowing she is in good hands while I take care of myself. 

On Sunday, Kinley turned 10 months old! I cannot believe it. We have had this sweet girl for almost a year. Man time flies. At 10 months, our Kinney bear....

*wears both 6-9 mo and 12 mo clothes

*size 3 diapers

*18 lbs (45%)

*points to everything with her cutest little stumpy finger

*had her 1st tooth finally cut through as of a few days ago

*horrible sleeper both day and night

*walks along the edge of things

*absolutely adores her dad

*crawls to me and wants a bite of everything I eat

*loves to "help" with the dishwasher and laundry

*into anything and everything

*laughs at her own toots (kinda crude and inappropriate at times, yet hilarious) 

*still loves to play under the kitchen table and in the chairs

*has become very sassy and has quite an attitude but is otherwise totally sweet and hilarious 

She seriously has been so fun. I feel like each new stage brings on some hard challenges, yet more fun things to enjoy. She's made me learn more about myself and what life is all about. I couldn't imagine my life without our sweet Kinley! She makes us laugh every day!

And here are some random pictures.

Morning snuggles and wicked bed head haha

Just being cute

I could stare at this sleeping baby all day in a non creepy way. So innocent and sweet. Melts my heart and my love for her could make my heart burst.

We've had some cool fall days with lots of rain. Our favorite! She loves to go to the window and just watch outside.

Just our usual daily snuggles.

And this is her new thing. I love them squishy lippies! Such a ham!

6 years, Labor day weekend, and random updates

Me and Caleb celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary on the 4th! I don't really have a bunch to say other than it's been an amazing 6 years! The power went out the day we got married along with our day this year as well. For 3 stinking hours might I add. Haha I guess we are just planning on the power being out on holidays since it was out on my birthday too. So, we weren't able to even make us a nice dinner like I had planned. What do ya do. Eat chips, sit in the dark, and talk. Haha.

That morning, our niece was blessed, so we went to her baby blessing.

Happy Anniversary my sweet husband of mine! I love him so so so much.

Labor day weekend ended up being a lot of fun! My sister had come up from Utah which is always fun. Saturday, most all of the family last minute drove to Fall Creek Falls, It's really a very pretty spot!

Monday was Labor Day, so we met up at the zoo that afternoon, then ended back at my parents for pizza and treats. 

Compared to the last time we went with Kinley, she showed a little more interest this time which was kinda fun. She was actually looking at the animals haha

All my siblings and our kids. Just missing Caleb, and my sister's husband. 

Tuesday, the day after Labor day, me and Caleb decided to go out for a late anniversary dinner since our anniversary was on a Sunday and the power outage didn't allow out to even have a good meal at home. So, we went out on a date! We did a couple errands and then decided to try out the Snakebite. Honestly, we didn't love it. There was a hair in Caleb's food and they messed up my order which is no surprise because literally EVERYWHERE messes my order up. Now we know though and it was still fun to go out!

Our cute dinner date tag along :)

So this last week I have gone through Kinley's old clothes, and FINALLY gone through every bit of my closet and separated what was going where. I tried to sell some of my nice clothes and NO one was buying them and I had like 4 people fall through. It was just a continuous hassle. So, I figured as bad as it sucks, I need to just di them. Otherwise they will just sit in my closet for no reason. 

For Kinley, I had put this outfit in a bin a while back with a bunch of her older clothes even though it still fit her. I stuck it in there because every time I saw it, I was reminded of the awful seizure she had at the restaurant. This was the outfit she was wearing and the same day we went down to Primary Children's the first time. I couldn't help but be reminded of our very emotional, scary, exhausting time in our lives every time I saw it. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with it. It was cute and had only been worn twice. I didn't want to keep it where I would see it a lot, yet I felt almost sad in a way getting rid of it because this particular outfit just reminds me of a big thing our family and especially our Kinley went through. I ended up sticking it in the di bag mainly because It brought back too many bad memories every time I saw it and I figured getting rid of it would probably be the best option for me. It's bittersweet in a way. Kind of a weird feeling that I don't know how to describe.

And this here is all of my clothes getting hauled away. Again, it was bittersweet getting rid of clothes! Especially because certain clothes remind me of certain memories. For the most part, it was refreshing knowing that I was getting rid of things that brought back bad and negative feelings I had toward myself at the time. The shirt I was wearing the day we found out we were pregnant, or a favorite shirt I remember I could no longer squeeze myself into, the one I specifically remember wearing at one of our fertility appointments. To be honest, they mostly weren't the best memories. It was a very hard and pretty depressing time in my life when I was wearing these so It's nice knowing life has gotten so much better since and I'm throwing out the old and slowly bringing in the new. 

Got one of my walls decorated

Kinley loves to go to the sliding doors and watch outside, especially if dad is out there working :)

I ended up taking Kinley to the doctor because she had been pulling on her ear for a good few days. Turns out it's most likely teething. 

I've been going through Kinley's clothes and had to pull out 12 month clothes :( Pulling out fall clothes and putting away summer clothes. That part makes me happy!

Just because she very rarely falls asleep like this! The best feeling!

Mornings. hahaha I feel ya girl. 

And just cause she's cute :)