constant rollar coaster ride

sorry that my blogging sucks world! im gettin to it i promise! here's whats been going on.

Caleb had his followup dr appointment from his colonoscopy last mon and they said that it looked like IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) bad news. there is no way to treat it. he has been on two more different pills and the one we call his happy pill because he has been nothin but happy. even when his game crashed he didnt even get mad! it was like blowin my mind! and the second pill is for him stomach and they have surprisingly been workin out for him for the most part. maybe like 80% of the time. thank the lord!! but its better than not at all. now the problem is, is that his pills are $300 A MONTH. hello we are poor! we dont have that kind of money. whatev. we'll make it work. and for his schooling, he is wanting to take this class from EITC and earn certificates and from there hopefully he can just find a job and hopefully with that he can provide with that!

For me, ive just been busy busy busy and beyooond stressed. school has overtaken my life i feel. i so far love what i do. i dont get along with a few peeps at school and its tough cause you are next to them for 8 hours a day 5 days a week. but you know, that life. i have tests every week which are kickin my hiney. and for work. that is tough to do after you've just been on your feet for 8 hours. and as of right now i am only workin 2 days a week but i keep workin for people so its been like 3 days a week. you do what you have to do for money right?

and for my grandpa. i honestly just am praying that god brings him home. he was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreas cancer. and it is killin him. he has been in and out of the hospital for the past month and a half or so and has lost about 50 pounds in that time. he doesnt recognize you and doesnt really talk anymore. its hard especially where i have grown up next to his house my whole life. so many memories with him. every time i go home to see my family it tends to be that we are hit with more bad news about grandpa and it kills the mood and i just end up leaving. its too hard to be around it all. its constant calls like his heart may stop so prepare yourself or ugh. just bad news like every day. lots of tears have been shed.

here's a story for you, the other day at school i had the duty of cleaning to shampoo bowls. well im cleanin away and my smock(apron) cought the fossit and it full blast soaked me. of coarse everyone laughs and deep down im annoyed and embarrassed. well there was one being used still but i was done with the rest. so i go get my instructor to check it off for me and by the time she gets over there the person that was in the shampoo bowl was now gone. so my instructor tells me to hurry and clean that one then i had to do another duty. so i go over there to clean in and im just about done and yep! you guessed it. stupid stupid stupid smock catched the fossit again and this time SOAKS me. like head to toe. hair is soaked. makeup is now runnin a bit down my face. it went up my nose, in my mouth, down my whole front, on my shoes, and on my board. and of coarse everyone laughs and im trying to be a good sport about it but deep down im about to lose it. there you go. thats my embarrassing story. should be put as my middle name!! as soon as i got in my car to go home i just lose it.

seeing that i think only girls read this i'll tell you this little crazy story. i was late on my period and i have NEVER been late on my period before so i was FREAKING out right?! i was thinkin i was pregnant and how this is such not a good time. FINALLY after 2 weeks aunt flo decides to visit. thank goodness. so there was more stress put on me for 2 weeks. i guess it was stress that messed with the hormones. so yes. to confirm this. i am NOT pregnant.

Thank goodness for an awesome husband. im tellin ya, even when i just think about Caleb i get teary eyed with happy tears because i just cannot describe to you people how much i just truely love Caleb. i love him with all of my heart. he just has helped me so much through this hard time for me. the other night i was haveing a rough night and i was laying in bed kinda cryin a bit. he comes in and asks me whats really going on and what he can do to help. you know the comforting phrases. i told him that i just needed a good cry and some good sleep and that tomorrow would hopefully be better. so what does he do?? he comes and holds me and im layin on his chest and then he sings me to sleep. doesnt that just melt your heart? well it does mine. thats how lucky i am.

I get to go the pierless show (hair show) in May and me and like 5 other girls are gonna go together. im nervous cause ive never ever done anything like this before. especially with girls. im excited but have mixed feelings. so thats held in Sandy/ SLC area. so i am gonna be away from Caleb for 3 days. i know thats not that long but i havent once not slept with him since we've been married. i like my cuddle buddy at night you know?! someone to keep my feet warm ;) but it counts for 16 missed hours at school which is a big deal and is recommended that we go. so i suppose i will make the very best of it and do it.

I chopped my hairs off!! and i actually REALLY like it. it DEF helped me with my self esteem and made me feel a little better about myself. that was needed.

and for other news. work is slow and that means not as much money which means we are DIRT poor. enough said.

I feel as i have been on a never ending rollar coaster ride. and a ride thats only gone down. i have had more than i can handle right now. and im ready for this ride to work its way back up. something good needs to happen to me and i just pray that comes soon.

me and caleb got babysit our two nephews tristan and hunter the other day. probably theee most crazy kids i have ever tended.

and thats i think about all the news that has gone on. i am more than ready to run away with my husband for a romantic weekend getaway. it is muchly needed as of right now. maybe someday. and hopefully my next post is something happy! sorry ive been quite the downer lately.

Me and Hunter. what a cutie! he's a huggy boy! 

we had a fun time playin with playdough. he wanted a new color every two seconds haha

And to end this post i saw a quote that i fell in love with and i often say it through my head when times get tough. 

"My dear child, I've got this, remember?

     Love,

     God"

Valentines Day / Hospital

I'm a bit slow at blogging lately. my bad. i've just been so busy!! Ok, Valentines day, i of coarse had school, allll day. so when i got home we were going to go to dinner and then go see the vow. well we get ready and such and head over to applebees seeing that its pretty much the fansiest restaurant in little ol good town of rexburg. well when we got there, it was PACKED. and we knew most places would be pretty busy but we didnt know it would be THAT busy. so we're like, ok....Fongs! we head over there....BUSY!! and we had a movie to catch in like an hour. so fongs wouldnt really work out. so we both look at eachother and shout, LETS GO TO ARBYS!! haha yeah lets just say we're a bit obbsessed. so we eat at Arbys which was delicious. so then we go to the rex to biy our tickets..SOLD OUT! WTF!? i was so sad. i have been dieing to see this movie! so ha we go home and start watching Lost. Caleb kept oppologizing to me because there was no fancy dinner or flowers. Let me tell you folks somethin. im theee luckiest gal to have Caleb for a hubby. its basically valentines day every day to me. he treats me so well. Im glad our love is so strong for eachother. love SHOULD be expressed more than just valentines day. which i get daily from Caleb. We still had so much fun. there's never a dull moment when me and caleb get together :)

i sure love you Caleb :)

alrighty and now for today. Today was Caleb's colonoscopy and boy was that fun. especially for him. poor guy. the worst part is the prep. and he's so funny. i go in the bathroom and he has his laptop set up in there with movies playing and he basically was in there for about 10 hours. thank goodness thats all overwith. so we go up to the hospital today for his little surgery. im freaking out a heck of a lot more than he is. im all tryin to be strong and the comforter but i dont like the environment, the needles, and all the machines. why cant it be like community care with pictures of teddy bears all over the walls huh? anyways, they do the procedure and im waiting in his room waiting for him to get wheeled in and sorry but it was hillarious! the stuff he was saying! his messy hair. haha i was watching the food chanel and he's sayin stuff like "why is that ice cream so round?" and "i want pie" random? a bit so. anyways. we had to stay there for an extra two hours because he is at risk of,.....some long name...cant remember what its called...so they fed him lunch and gave him some dr pepper. and then home we went! he's glad its overwith! and now we wait for the results. so next week we have another dr appoointment to see if we cant finally figure out whats wrong with this kids stomach. so he's been gettin papmered all day! he's a bit sore and its the least i can do.



aint he sweet?

woke up to this yesterday morning. Great way to start out my day. And that whole day was a good one :) thanks babe :) sure do love you!

Aint he sweet?! :)

ohhhh life

stressed? very much so thanks for asking. why? i have 10 main reasons why...
1. school. i have been made fun of to my face twice now and i have not been rude to one person there. it is getting harder and harder each and every day. putting in over 40 hours a week of school and about 10 to 13 hours a week of work is getting hard. total about 55 hours of non stop work.
2. caleb now has to get another colonoscopy to hopefully figure out his stomach. he's been so sick lately. the poor guy has lost 12 pounds in 1 week.
3. money. now that im in school i cut my shifts from 5 nights a week to 2 times a week and im only waitressing once every two weeks. caleb also took off 1 shift a week for school also. so total 4 shifts a week and our checks are gettin low. thank goodness we have free rent right now or we'd be on the streets.
4. caleb is now not in school because of all  his medical attention. so once again he'll be starting over with school.
5. my grandpa found out he has a tumor in his pancreas and has been in and out of the hospital for the past month. he has about 6 months to live, so funeral will be held in the near future.
6. i dont have money to get my eyes checked and all i am asking for is to be able to see without squinting.
7.our car needs a new timing belt and break pads and to get serviced again which is about oh idk $700.
8. i keep getting charged each month for proactiv so we're in the process of doing all the bank stuff to stop it.
9.my right eye has been twitching for the past 4 days straight and people keep asking why i keep winking at them when i really cant help it. its really starting to tick me off.
10. and to top it all off im comin down with a cold and feel like poop.

i swear i feel like this list could go on and on. as of right now i feel like nothing good has happened lately. i just have to look at the little things that make me happy and build my confidence off of that. hopefully this week will be a good one and that we can find answers to calebs stomach problems and that school goes smoothly. and hopefully you guys have a good week too!

date night!

FIINNAALLYY!!!!! me and my husband finally got to squish in a date! and it wasnt anything huge but it was so super nice to spend some fun time with Caleb. oh how i have missed him and his goofyness and jokes and just him! i am the luckiest lady to have him as a husband. anyways, right after school we went grocery shopping, and made a couple errands. and then for our date we got tesoro, some fongs take out, came home and failed at making a fort. haha we were going to kill some zombies in a fort and seeing that that didnt work, we just skipped the fort part and contined on with playing zombies. oh i am awful! but you all just watch, i'll soon kick his hiney!

I love how i can come home from a not good day at school and before you know it my gut hurts from laughing so much. i must say, that is probably one of theeee BEST things i love about my husband. I love that he can make me laugh. plus, who DOESNT like to laugh? its the best medicine for everything i swear.

for other news, i found out today that i get to cut my sisters hair next week! its my first real haircut other than a manikin. nerveousness has officially kicked in! and for caleb, doctors appointments have been made (again) for his stomach, and his schooling papers are still in the process. so anyways! thats all thats new!

killin zombies, drinkin soda, eating chocolate covered carmel bars, and a bit of snuggling :)