Finally getting help

Normally I wouldn't blog about some super personal trials, but because this one has been SUCH a huge part of my life, I want to document it. And like I've said before, this blog is for me. It's basically my journal. I enjoy looking back and reading everything about my life. The good, the bad, thoughts, feelings, experiences, just all of it.

So, a little back history. I developed stomach issues a little over 5 years ago. It started in hair school. I have dealt with this the entire 5 years and still do to this date. It has honestly impacted my life in a negative way and I have had to learn how to deal with this issue and still live my life the best I can. Shortly after the stomach issues started, I then developed anxiety which has over time increased to SEVERE anxiety and ocd. Because of the two combined, I have had an extremely hard time living my life to the fullest, especially compared to how I used too. There have been SO many experiences with my stomach that were horrible that left me in embarrassment, frustration, tears, anger, and pain. I nearly lost a job over it, I lie my way out of more opportunities I can count, I've lost friends, avoided most situations, didn't accept or take up offers that were given to me, and has left me often feeling like most people just get annoyed with me because I whine a lot, and always make up a reason to get out of any situation, especially if it involves social interaction or food. Because of these trials, I have turned into a home body that simply enjoys being home the most with my family. I used to be one that loved getting out and staying busy, having friends, traveling, exploring, working a lot, all of that. But now, the thought of ALL of those leaves me sick.

I could tell stories alllll day of bad experiences that my stomach has caused, or my anxiety, or even my ocd. But, that blog would be a million pages long. haha.

I finally pushed past the anxiety and saw my doctor. I am starting a couple different medications to hopefully help with the anxiety and ocd. If it doesn't help, or if I still would like, then I will go to therapy for some help. I think it could be very beneficial either way. Then, I will also be seeing a gi doctor for my stomach. I don't want to sound too negative but I'm not planning on really being able to get help for that. Just because every person I know with stomach issues has never been able to truly solve their issues. They may have found a certain diet or certain foods to avoid that may help, but I have yet to hear of any cure for someone that has stomach issues. If I can find that something even helps, then that is a positive, I'm just not planning on it being totally successful. I don't want to get my hopes up.

Anyway, I just kind of want to document this journey and see where it takes me in life. I hope in a positive way. I hope this medication works, I hope my new gi doctor is good, and I hope I can get SOME kind of answers as to why this is going on.

Fingers crossed for a positive future :)