The Niederer's: Quite the journey

so as most of you know i have officially graduated beauty school! and i could not be more proud of myself. i want to write my journey down so i can look back on it and remember how school went. continue reading if you want...if you dont...eh whatever. but i do also hope that maybe this post can give people out there hope as well. fyi, looooong post.

As i look back through my schooling i realize how much stronger of a person it made me. all my challenges and hardships. i think clear back in late 2011 and realizing how hard it was for me to get accepted into any school. nothing was going right and i didnt know what i wanted to do. i remember playing night games with a group of people and one of my old best friends was there. and i remember sitting in this tree, hiding. haha. she was telling me how she was going to hair school at the time and how she thinks i should sign up so she had a buddy at school. after she said that i took it into serious consideration. pretty sure not even a week later i was signed up for school full time (40+ hours a week) to start in early jan 2012. i was so happy at that time in my life and i felt life was going great. my first day of school was awesome. i loved my class, i thought the instructors were going to be a lot of fun, too. i absolutely loved school the first couple months. then as it got more serious it got harder. and more stressful. not only with school but with outside life. my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer and that was so hard to watch someone i knew so well go through such a terrible thing. in early march my grandpa passed away. and that was just seriously one of the hardest things ive ever gone through. (for those that dont know, my grandparents lived in the house next to ours. so they were my second mom and dad.) i remember at that time i just didnt start to feel very good. i had developed some sort of stomach problem and started to miss quite a few days of school and work. right after my grandpa passed, my parents informed me my grandmas cancer was back and that she has at most 2 months to live. im thinking, ah great. i cant deal with 2 deaths, and stress from school. in april, my first semester at school ended. and sadly, when my instructor pulled me in their office to show me my grades, the stress grew more because i learned i failed my first semester due to bad test scores. because of it i lost all my grant money and was told that if i fail again i was kicked out. my stomach problems got worse. my grandma got sicker to the point i could barely make myself go over to her house. in june my stomach was so out of wack i decided to go to the doctor. he prescribed me some anti anxiety pills. and the first night i took it was pure heck. i was up alll night nauseous and feeling aweful. i called my instructor the next day and told him briefly that i may be out for a while until these pills kick in cause the doctor said they will probably make me pretty sick for a while. he was right. i missed 2 full weeks of school. and by this time i realized my grade was probably down the drain. so i decided to take a medical leave until my stomach was good enough for me to come back to school. during my leave was great times and hard times. i was still working 3 days a week but the other days i had to myself. the weather was warm and i was outside a lot. scootering, taking libbie on walks, laying out, meeting up with my sister, went camping with my family, and best of all spending more time with my husband. but during that month my grandma was bed ridden and i spent a decent amount of time staying next to her bedside, giving her her medications, and being with her. i was working the night before i had to go back to school. and i got a phone call from my mom that night at work saying my grandma had passed away. what a loooong night at work. trying to fake smiles that just were nearly impossible. after getting off late that night i called my mom in tears. telling her i hated school. i didnt want to finish and how i didnt think it was worth it anymore. i couldnt deal with the stress of losing two loved ones within 4 months and my stomach still wasnt getting better. how was i supposed to keep up with school feeling sick every day and being so sad? but i got up the next morning and pushed myself. i got through july, august, and september. once i hit october i just couldnt make myself go anymore. in my head i was thinking, is it worth it? im so unhappy. i hated school. it was so hard. tests were killing me, people were mean, and it was litterally sucking the life out of me. by this time calebs health also got worse. mine still hadnt gotten better. doctors, a hospital trip, and a couple more doctors. then came the medical bills. i couldnt deal with the stress anymore and told myself i was done with school. i found a full time nannying job and called my parents to let them know i was done. long story short, dad wasnt happy and said i was NOT going to quit. by this time it was early november. so i told caleb i needed to quit my job. i couldnt keep up my grades at school with this much stress. so now money is even more tight. barely making it. i pushed myself, and got more frustrated cause by now it was christmas time. because money was so tight there wasnt a single gift under our tree. i also had failed my HUGE end of school cosmetology test. last test in school. i started to get mad, and frustrated with my heavenly father. life was hard, and it sure wasnt fair. jealousy got the best of me. i felt as though i had gone through so much and nothing good was coming out of it. in my head i had quit again. january came and i saw my classmates leave. our car broke down and were left with one car. and during that month, i lost someone i knew pretty well. i girl i had gone to young womens with, worked with, and new pretty well. my best friends little sister. she had killed herself. 3 deaths in not even a years time. but good came too, my sister got engaged! february came and went and now we're into march. i took both my boards this last month and did well on both of them. and on march 27, 2013 i graduated cosmetology school. happiest day of my life. i walked out of school with a smile on my face. and to make the day even better, i found a 5 dollar bill in the parking lot. and now that its all done and overwith i cannot believe i stuck with it for almost 15 months. it was the hardest period of my life. ever. but now that its over i feel as though i can do anything! i made it through all the hard times when i didnt think i could. i never in a million years would have made it if it werent for my husband caleb, his family, my family, and friends from school. they pushed me every single day. and i will forever be thankful for that. now to celebrate we have to keep it somewhat low key seeing we are on quite the budget. so me and caleb tonight ate food, ate cake, and fed the ducks. and maybe when i get working again we will do something bigger. but to be honest, i dont care to celebrate. for me celebrating will be to not enter that school any more. sleeping in more, spending more time with caleb, being able to go to bed with him and wake up with him will be the best feeling ever. thats the main points that happened. obviously i didnt go into great detail but its all ok. i did it! its done! 2005 hours are done! goal complete! career achieved! here are a few pics from the past year of doing beauty school.