This mothers day was a tad bit harder for me. I've debated even blogging about mothers day because I didn't want it to be all about me or my selfishness. It hit me harder this year because we are obviously having difficulties getting pregnant. It was hard to not feel sorry for myself and focus on all the wonderful moms out there when I'm over here just longing to be a mom and that just isn't even working out nor has it worked out. I blame it on my condition. I've spent thousands of dollars including a surgery to hopefully help the process along. So far nothing. I'm not giving up hope but it sure is probably one of hardest things I've had to deal with. Emotionally, physically, and mentally. All past mothers days I've always loved it to be able to make my mom feel extra special, but this year I couldn't help but think of myself, friends, and family that have dealt with infertility, losing a child/miscarriage/stillborn, or losing their mom. I avoided the internet and especially facebook and instagram. I know thats horrible because everyone is always so kind on there making a loving status towards their moms. Going to church on mothers day has now become a challenge. Maybe next year will be better but for now I did what I could. Seeing family and friends loving on their babes hurts to watch. And for some reason, whenever it's a holiday, that is when it is especially hard. I dream of babies and kids. I want the small things so bad. I want to read my children stories, do their hair, feed them meals, take them trick or treating, wake me up in the night that their scared or hungry, take them to the zoo/ park, have picnics, travel, the list goes on and on. I want to be a mom. I know I have no control over these trials and that either way, it is in the lords hands. I had to and still have to remind myself of that every day. So that little saying was what got me through that day. That and having a supportive husband and pup that I claim my child.
Although it was a tough day, it was also a wonderful day. I love being able to have a day to show moms out there how grateful we are of them. Especially my mom. I am truly blessed to have the mom I do! Shout out to my mom, grandparents (even though they are in heaven), sister in laws, and my sister who's got one baking. You are all fantastic. You guys make me excited for my own one day.
For mothers day we all met up at my parents for dinner......
......And as usual there was TONS of food. Everyone was so full and so they decided to compare with prego in the group. It's a toughie on who one ;)
My sister Kristie turned 14 this last week. She's growing up WAY too fast! I ended up out at my parents to hang out with her on her actual birthday and then we combined mothers day and her birthday with family where they were so close.
I ended up getting her a nail polish kit thingy with more nail polish so she'll stop asking to use mine ;) ha
Happy birthday sister! You are so beautiful and turning into such a cute girl. I love you lots!
Overall life is busy but going good! Caleb and his job are improving a LOT. Lots of changes are happening and for the better. We are definitely excited about it!
Same old same old for me!
And same for Libbie too :)
We are honky dory and doing well :)
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