Squirt Buddy

I am officially 9 weeks pregnant today. Woop woop!! Here's an update:

Caleb has officially nick named our baby "squirt buddy". He will come and do a soft belly bump with his and ask how squirt buddy is doing. I told him one day I had to come home from work because I was feeling awful. His response?...You tell squirt buddy to be nice to you. haha I think it's adorable.

Squirt buddy is about the size of a grape and about 1 inch long. It's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks. The eyes are fully formed, but the eyelids are fused shut and won't open till 27 weeks. It has tiny earlobes, and the mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. CRAZY cool! Amazing really.

I feel....pregnant??....haha sick? Sick 24/7. It's been rough. I am nauseous pretty much all day every day, but it DEFINITELY gets worse if I don't eat every 2 stinkin hours. Which leads to my next symptom.

Food aversions!! UGH! I think this is the worst thing for me! I feel like my gag reflexes have been heightened by a million. Food does not taste the same it used too. Even my favorite foods taste awful. I will spend all my energy in making a dinner and then not being able to eat my plate because it tastes really bad, or I simply just want to gag. It's been very, very frustrating because I'm nauseous, so I will try to eat, but then I can't get anything down. I have wasted more food than I want to admit. It's just a vicious cycle. I feel like I am still losing weight because of it. Everywhere but the belly region. I feel like if I had an appetite, the nausea wouldn't be quite as bad.

As for other symptoms, I am tired a lot and I get tired VERY easily. As in, I usually have to take a break with me simply getting ready for the day. I will achieve a task, then just feel wiped out. So I really haven't been able to accomplish much. I feel extremely guilty because of it. My house is needing some love and I just feel I haven't been a very good wife lately because I feel like I'm slacking on everything. (cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, even getting ready for the day) Sorry Caleb! :(

I have to use the bathroom ALL the stinkin time! It's quite inconvenient. I usually wake up in the night once or twice and by the time I get up for the day I am running to the bathroom again.

Then the usual occasional headache and growing chest and belly.

I want to share a couple of experiences so I can look back and laugh or remember how this pregnancy was. So, story #1:
It was late and Caleb was working. I called him and said I was headed to bed and to have him wake me when he got home. I went to bed STARVING cause I couldn't find anything appealing to eat. A little side note, I have been taking b6 with unisom for nausea and the unisom is a sleeping pill. So once I take it, I'm usually out. Caleb got home and kinda stirred me. He said he was starving and was going to go get McDonald's breakfast. Another side note. Super random but if there IS a food that MIGHT sound ok, it's usually Mcdonald's sausage egg mcmuffins and their hashbrowns. Ha so when Caleb told me he was going to get some I told him to bring me a back a hashbrown. That would hopefully cure my growling nauseous belly. He came back and had to wake me up again to give it to me. I was exhausted. I was curled up in bed with the hashbrown in my hand. I would take a bite, then doze off. 5 min later, I'd kinda wake up and remember I'm still eating, so i'd take another bite, then doze back off. Ha pretty sure it took me like a half our to finish that tiny little hashbrown.

#2: Mornings have been awful. When I first wake up, I have to find something to put in my belly within like 10 min or it's just all downhill from there. It's been a daily struggle because of the awful food aversions. But one night, right before I woke up, I was dreaming about toast with sugar and cinnamon on it. I forgot about this and would eat this all the time growing up. When I woke up, that was the FIRST thing I thought of and did. And to my surprise it tasted great. I was able to get two slices down. Sounds silly but I think God was helping me there because It had been such a struggle for weeks. So for the last 4 mornings, that's what I've been eating first thing when I wake up. Super random but kind of funny!

#3: I cut back my hours at work. For now anyways. I was having a hard time putting in my 7+ to 9+ hr days. With being sick and exhausted it just hasn't worked out. I feel silly just going to work for 4 or 5 hours, but at the same time, I do what I can and I do what's best for me. Yesterday when I woke up to get ready for work, I was extremely dizzy. I had gotten a pretty bad sunburn the day before from being outside for like half an hour and I think that played a role in why I felt so awful. Note to self: APPLY SUNSCREEN WHILE PREGNANT. Apparently you are more prone to burn while pregnant. All this when it wasn't even that hot out and half the time I was sitting in shade! Anyway,

I got up, and struggled getting ready to go to work. I debated just calling in but I feel like I have already been a burden and didn't want to be one of "those girls" that calls in all the time. I finally got ready, I looked like death, but I was ready. I got out the door and headed to work. It was one of my worst days yet. I got to work and had to leave during our meeting that morning to run to the bathroom to puke. I was constantly having that feeling of right before you throw up. The sweating, the spins, the mouth watering, It was awful. I just kept telling myself that I had 4 hours to go. One hour at a time. It was apparent that I wasn't doing good. After our meeting my manager came up and asked if I wanted to go home. YES PLEASE. I came home and literally layed on the couch all day long. I was especially nauseous, could not get a single thing down, Caleb was working a double and wasn't going to be home till around 11 that night. I just wanted him. I will admit, I had hit a breaking point. That night as I was trying to eat, I just sat there and stared at my food sitting on my plate getting colder by the minute. I lost it. I needed Caleb, a good cry, and some sleep. I was exhausted. I was starving. I was nauseous. I called Caleb a little after 9 and told him I was taking my prescribed nausea medicine and was going to bed. I couldn't sleep great but today I woke up and felt it was a new day. Fresh start. Hopefully a day of feeling not quite so awful. I did do better than yesterday. Still didn't feel great but at least I wasn't laying in bed all day. I used every ounce of energy to do all the laundry, dishes, go grocery shopping (which feels GREAT to have done) and make shepherds pie...which I sort of ate. :/ But, I'll consider that a day of success.

We have officially announced our pregnancy on Facebook and Instagram and holy moly! I am overwhelmed with how many people liked and commented on our post. There is so much support for us it's crazy.

And for other news, Caleb has to go to Boise again here in a couple weeks and sadly this time I am not going to be able to go with him. I'm not loving this idea. I think since being married (for almost 5 years might I add) there has been a total of 3 nights we have not spent together. And those were two times of me having to go to Utah for hair shows. So, call me a baby, but I HATE being away from Caleb. Especially at night. I told my parent's I am going to stay with them for the couple of nights so I'm not alone here. But, it's all for good reason. He's doing great with work and good things are coming our way.

Speaking of Caleb. I just have to say, I am one blessed lady. He has been nothing but sweet, understanding, and just so great dealing with me and me not being myself lately. I appreciate more than he will ever know how hard he works for us and our future, and him just being amazing. I couldn't be more blessed. I love that man with every ounce that I am.

First doctors appointment!

Today was the day of FINALLY getting to get that ultrasound and see our little baby! I was nervous beyond words for days prior too. I just wanted everything to be healthy, nothing to be uncomfortable or hurt, and I wanted to feel half decent going. I knew they were going to do the ultrasound, other woman stuff, and draw my blood. All three I was nervous for. I had to take one thing at a time. We first got there and they took us back to do the ultrasound. I was so excited to see our baby! But I am not going to lie, the ultrasound tech did it all so fast, didn't explain anything, and really, we only got to see it for like 30 seconds. The whole thing was over in maybe 2 min. That's with her measuring all of me too. So It all happened so fast that I didn't really get a chance to connect I guess if that's the right word. And I apparently ovulated late so my calculations were off by a week and one day. So instead of all of us thinking I were 9 weeks today, I'm only 7 weeks 6 days. That changed my due date from being Nov. 24th to Dec. 2nd. So that kinda bummed me out too. But, it's all ok. The baby and me looked great. Had a healthy heart beat of 154 bpm, and everything was right on track. And that's what matters.

After the quick ultrasound, we were sent back out to the waiting room to wait to meet with the doctor. We waited for 40 stinkin minutes might I add. UGH! As if I wasn't nervous already, making me wait and wait and wait does not help. And at this point I was needing some food in my stomach cause the nausea was getting worse. Caleb thinks I'm embarrassing as I pull out a peanut butter and honey sandwich in the doctors office for a couple bites. A pregnant girls gotta do what shes gotta do. After the 40 min wait, the nurse takes me back for the typical weight, and blood pressure. I lost another 2 pounds since last time. I'm definitely not complaining. But, I'm sure being sick and pretty much just snacking all day is whats doing it. I can't get a full meal down for the life of me. Then we went to the room where we met with the doctor. We talked about everything. All what's to come, family history, all that jazz. I did get some nausea medicine prescribed since what I'm doing now clearly isn't doing anything. We did another test and then I was sent off to the lab. This part I was VERY nervous for. I have had theee worst experiences with needles. Whether that is fainting, being poked at least 2 times EVERY time I have to have blood work, or I get the practicing nurse and she fails to get the vein, just every reason to have it not go well, I seem to get. I have had bloodwork so many times in my life I have lost count. Probably 20 times? idk. I just have teeny tiny veins and they always tell me that too. They are too small, or they collapse when they get the needle in, or I have to lay down cause I'm either going to pass out or puke. Idk. I'm just terrified. The lady today though did awesome. She was SO nice, kept talking to me which is a huge help, and nailed it on the first try. She deserves a raise because I seriously appreciate those types of people. After all that, we met up with a lady to talk about payments and what not. Baby's are expensive! Goodness. But, It'll all be worth it. It was kind of an overwhelming appointment but also it makes it seem a little more real. We are SO excited. I can't believe I have this tiny little gummy bear size human in me cookin away. So amazing!

And a little side note, can I just brag about the weather we have had!? Amazing! And it makes this not so pretty feelin nauseous lady feel a little more human. Thank you to heavenly father for sending me some sunshine when I need it most. 

Me and Libbie sat on the patio swing while Caleb (bless his heart) mowed the lawn. I even got a little tan on my arms, chest and face. 

Also, we own one silly dog. 

I woke up the other morning to Libbie sitting on Caleb's back with a toy near his face ready to play while he was still dead asleep. Haha made me chuckle. It's how we usually wake up. The second one of us opens our eyes, she's there, ready to play.

The other day, me and Caleb were watching Netflix and just snuggling when Libbie came up. She will rub her paws across her face and if I call her name and catch her off guard, her face ends up like so..

Hahaha this is before she shakes and it goes back to normal. Me and Caleb look at each other and both bust a gut. She's just so funny!

Well, until next time!

Update!

A couple weeks ago Caleb had a tire blow on his car. We had been meaning to get new tires for months because they were bald, but we just kept putting it off. Luckily him and his friend from work got the spare on his car so he could drive to get some new tires. Kinda hilarious looking. He has owned that car since 2007 and has never once changed the tires or rotated them or anything. Now that we have a new set, they should last the rest of this little cars life ;) And I'm sure they'll grip a whole lot better in the snow for next winter too. I suppose it's worth the hundreds of dollars going into tires. :/

Work has been crazy for me. I have been slammed booked for months now. Which is awesome. But now being pregnant and being sick has made it kind of miserable at times. It's been stressful since we are so short handed right now too. On Saturday I had a crazy lady that basically wanted to look like a calico cat. So this was the most colors I've put on someones head since doing hair. I had to document it. The hair color actually turned out way prettier than expected. I was slightly nervous, but my client loved it and that's what matters. 

Caleb's work has been going great! My sister and brother just got hired back there. It's slowly becoming like old times where it was family that worked there. haha The business is running great and Caleb is doing awesome. I'm a proud wifey. ;)

We have gone from snow to 70+ degree weather within a couple days. So random. Today was BEAUTIFUL!! Me and Libbie took advantage and went out on the porch swing and enjoyed the sun while I ate my lunch. I hate complaining about this, but since we live in a basement, I feel awfully cooped up a lot. There's no natural lighting that really comes through and you can't really enjoy the weather. So I basically sat outside all day and LOVED it. I was in some need of some vitamin D. Luckily this basement living isn't going to last much longer. 

Libbie has also been good. She did make me quite angry the other day when I took her out to use the bathroom and she escaped from me. She has NEVER done that. I'm not really supposed to run so me trotting after her through our neighbors yard then clear out to the road made me SO angry and honestly scared me! She's fast and even if I was running my fastest, I wouldn't be able to catch her. Back to the leash she goes till she learns to not do that. The little stink. And then today when I put her on her long leash to just run and play in the yard, all she wanted to do was sit on my lap. Of course. haha animals. 

And lastly, a pregnancy update. I am 8 weeks 3 days. Baby is the size of a raspberry. It's fingers and toes are forming. A little tongue is now visible and it's little features are becoming a little more prominent. I am not going to lie, I have felt pretty crummy. Nauseous all day every day. Some moments are worse than others but it seems like it is constantly lingering. I WISH I would just throw up already instead of having that constant feeling of I'm about too. I did start taking some b6 with unisom for my nausea and so far it hasn't helped and I actually don't like how the unisom makes me feel. So I'm not sure if I want to keep taking it or not. It may just be something I deal with for a while. It's been especially hard with work. It is hard to get up in the morning when it's usually at its more awful moments and having to force myself to get out of the house to go to work. But, one day at a time, one moment at a time sometimes. 

I have had thee WORST food aversions. It's been awful! People always told me about cravings, not food aversions. The thought or smell of food makes me gag. It's been honestly really hard to know what to make myself to eat. Nothing sounds good. I usually make myself something and then waste half of it because I just can't get myself to finish it. The only thing that tastes ok is cold stuff. Preferably smoothies, fruit, popsicles, sometimes jello, and sometimes juice. Jamba has seen me through the drive through like every other day. I seriously have eaten SO much fruit lately. It's been my go to snack. But as far as meals go, that has been very difficult and very frustrating. 

I feel like this week I have really noticed me being more tired. I have been a little more tired for weeks now but this week especially I have been napping at least once a day, sometimes, twice. I just don't have the energy to get things done. My house is needing some tlc but unfortunately it's just going to have to wait! And that's fine with me.

Smells. eee. Sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's fine. The other day I had to get up from watching a movie and take the garbage out because ALL I could smell was ketchup that was in there. I like ketchup, but that's all I could smell and it was driving me nuts. Also, the other day at work, I had gone out to my station and another girl had just put on perm solution on this little old lady. I got a whiff of it and literally about lost it right there in the garbage can next to my station. I had to open the front door to get some fresh air and then leave the area because I just could not handle that one. Woo it was bad!

And bloat. I know it's too early for me to have a "baby bump" but I have been so bloated that I think it could pass as a baby bump. Either way, it's still a bump, and I know there's a baby in there, therefore, I'm gonna enjoy my bump! I never thought I'd get a bump so I'm gonna have fun and enjoy it. I will say, I don't think the bloat is going to leave by the time there is an actual baby bump there so I am already wanting to maybe purchase a pair of maternity pants. It's early, I know, But i'm uncomfortable in my jeans. I'm sure I'll give it a little while longer, but when I do need them, I need to know where to go. Any advise on your favorite maternity clothes stores? I'm open to any and all places.

Other than really just not feeling myself and feeling crummy, I'm still the happiest girl on this planet. All day today, even feeling nauseous as ever, was just smiling from ear to ear. This sunshine makes it easier to be happier too. But today especially I was just dreaming of the future with our little baby. Being pregnant and having a belly, a newborn, the holidays with a baby, the snuggles, the crying, the fun summers ahead, being a family, Caleb being a dad, just all of it. What's coming is amazing and truly a gift from god and I could not feel more grateful for being given this opportunity. 

BIG NEWS!!

Oh my goodness I don't even know where to start. It was Tuesday March 17th. The dreaded aunt flo was supposed to arrive that day. It never came. I took a pregnancy test. Negative. Figures. I wasn't surprised. Wednesday came and I thought for sure it would come. In the past I have been a day, mayyyybeee two days late. But never ever more than 2 days late. So when it didn't come Wednesday, I decided to take another test. Also negative. I hadn't told Caleb that I was late because It's happened in the past and I didn't want to get him all excited for a let down. We have learned to not get our hopes up. So where I didn't start on Wednesday, I told myself I would NOT test until Saturday if it still hadn't come by then. Reasons being was because If for some crazy reason it was positive, both me and Caleb would be there that morning and not have to rush off to work after crazy news like that. I knew I was late for either 2 reasons. 1, being I was pregnant, or 2, the fertility medication I was on. And I was certain it was the medication since I had taken two tests and both were negative.

Skipping forward to Friday, my sister Shandell came up to visit. I told her I still had not started and that I was so confused as to why. I was freaking out and Saturday felt so far away. I was a little crampy and honestly felt like aunt flo was coming. I had NO feeling that I was pregnant. I don't know if it's because I have just basically trained my brain to think that way or what. But I had no feeling of whether I was or wasn't.

Saturday morning rolls around and I was awaken at like 8 that morning by a crazy dream I had had. This was the 3rd dream I had had in the last 2 weeks and all 3 told me I was pregnant. Was it in my head? Was I thinking about it that much for it to consume my thoughts and dreams? So when I woke up, I knew I HAD to test. Caleb was still sleeping and still didn't know that I was late and that I was going to test because I still thought for sure it was my medication making me late. I went to the bathroom, peed on that fancy little stick. It was the clear blue digital kind so It sits there and just blinks and after a little bit will say pregnant, or not pregnant. I sat there while it was blinking, having ALL these crazy things going through my head. I ended up putting a square of toilet paper over the little screen because I was too nervous to look at it. I ended up lifting the toilet paper to see and it was still blinking. My heart was pounding. I was nervous. This was the most nervous I have ever felt taking one of those tests. And trust me when I say I have taken plenty. I sat there looking in the mirror, prepping myself for a negative. I decide it's finally time to look at it. I take a deep breath, and quickly pull up the toilet paper. PREGNANT.

"Hoooolllly shit" were the first words out of my mouth. Positive. Positive?! Am I reading this right?! I pick it up and yep! a BIG FAT POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!! A MILLION thoughts are running through my head. How can this be? After soooo many months and months of trying and the most hectic month of all it happens?! My heart felt like it was literally pounding out of my chest. I was shaking. And then the water works came. I had to tell Caleb. I ran into the bedroom holding the pregnancy test. "Babe...babe! wake up!!" It was still dark in the room. He kinda moans, tiredly opens his eyes, "What?" I was still shaking and couldn't even talk. I just show him the pregnancy test. He looks at it, squints his eyes, then asks, "what is it?" He's blind as a bat, and it's dark so he couldn't tell what it was. I just looked at him, smiled, and said, "We're pregnant!" He sits up, opens his eyes, smiles, and just looks at me. He shouts, "YAY!" He's not really a man of many words. And then, I just lost it. I started sobbing. Staring at the test, crying, laying on Caleb's chest. This was a day I will remember for the rest of my life. After the morning and really not saying much about it and letting the news sink in a little, we started to talk about it. Crazy news. Best day ever. I felt so blessed. Prayers had FINALLY been answered. Going from such a low in the week to such a high in a matter of days was seriously a roller coaster of emotions. Me seriously thinking days prior to our news that we were probably gearing up for IVF to waking up and getting a positive pregnancy test was seriously crazy. And the fact that what did it was these 3 things: 1. Me being on metformin. 2. Me losing about 10 pounds. and 3. Caleb being on his fertility vitamin. Nothing more. Finally going through the crazy side effects of these drugs paid off. And I was beyond happy.

I wanted to start telling family right away. I wanted to tell the world that I was pregnant! I didn't want to keep any secrets! Caleb wanted to wait to put it up on facebook till we were more in the clear of miscarrying. And it's been hard to not even blog about it! It's been torture keeping it a secret!

Saturday, the day we found out, I ended up at my parents house. Earlier that day I had printed off the picture above of me and Caleb and we were going to show my family the next day at our weekly Sunday dinner. It was torture keeping it from all my family all day. And throughout the day, I learned that both my brother and sister weren't coming out for dinner the next day. WHAT!? I was NOT about to wait another week maybe two to tell my family. So that night, I texted Caleb at work and told him my siblings weren't going to be out the next day and asked if I could just tell them then. He didn't care. I wanted to completely catch my mom off guard so she wasn't expecting it at all. All night, I was trying to get at least my parents in the same room casually so I could tell them and I swear, nothing worked. Haha so I decided to just finally tell my mom. It was me, my mom, my brother Lane, and my sister Kristie and her friend that were in the kitchen. I was leaning against the counter with my heart POUNDING when I said, "hey mom, I have a picture I have to show you." She walks over and I show her the picture like the one above. She looks at it, then looks at me. I will never forget the look on her face. "Is that?....Does that say?...." and I'm just nodding my head yes. I said, "It says pregnant" She just hugs me and starts crying and I'm sobbing and she's like shaking me with excitement. "Are you serious Shalei!?...your serious? omg!...are you serious!?" haha all while my brother and sister figure out what just happened. I look at my mom and we both have red eyes from crying.Everyone was hugging me and so excited, Mom looks at me and says, "we have to tell your dad!!" we walk into the bedroom and I showed him the picture. And if any of you know my dad, he too is a man of many words. haha "oh yeah? hahaha. Oh that's just great Shalei. I'm so happy for ya." We all cried and I proceeded to tell them the story. I sent the picture to my sister and my brother and got great responses from them. It was honestly overwhelming the responses I got. Everyone was SO excited and just SO happy for Caleb and I. All that night as mom was trying to prepare her lesson for church the next day just kept saying, "I can't focus, I'm just too excited!" hahaha Anyways. Caleb had told his parents that night and later throughout the week we let his siblings know. It has been a crazy emotional best month ever. I should be 8 weeks on Tuesday. So still early, but getting closer every day. Every day is a blessing and I feel SO grateful every day that another day has come and gone and that I've still been able to carry this sweet little baby that we love SO much already. 

As far as how I am feeling, 5 weeks was when I actually got small waves of queasyness and was tired. I took 3 naps a day on my days off. I was a bit crampy, and just not myself. 6 weeks and there was bigger waves of nausea. 7 weeks came and I now have been nauseous all day every day. I get dizzy sometimes. The thought of food makes me want to barf. All that sounds good ever is fruit. Fruit anything. Oh, and pizza pie cafe. So random. But I am definitely noticing more nausea, food aversions, yet have to eat like every 2 hours or I get so sick. So I am CONSTANTLY snacking. Mainly on fruit, which I guess isn't awful, but I still feel like a cow with how hungry I am ALL. THE. TIME. And there is no way around it. When the stomach wants food, you give it food. No ifs ands or buts. There's constantly toast or saltine crumbs in my bed. oops! Sorry Caleb ;) Work has become a challenge. When i'm that nauseous and leaning my head over the toilet to maybe, maybe not throw up, the LAST thing I want to do is work. I'm praying I can get through this first trimester and still continue to work but we shall see. I'm just taking it one day at a time. And then the rest are all the typical pregnancy symptoms. The bloat, the growing, all of it. All in all, I can't complain. It could be much worse. And I'm honestly grateful I get to experience this. For a while I seriously thought I would NEVER get this opportunity so it being here, no matter how sick I am, I am truly grateful. 

Baby is due in November just before Thanksgiving. I have my 2nd appointment in a week and am nervous, yet looking forward to it. 

We can't wait!!