BIG NEWS!!

Oh my goodness I don't even know where to start. It was Tuesday March 17th. The dreaded aunt flo was supposed to arrive that day. It never came. I took a pregnancy test. Negative. Figures. I wasn't surprised. Wednesday came and I thought for sure it would come. In the past I have been a day, mayyyybeee two days late. But never ever more than 2 days late. So when it didn't come Wednesday, I decided to take another test. Also negative. I hadn't told Caleb that I was late because It's happened in the past and I didn't want to get him all excited for a let down. We have learned to not get our hopes up. So where I didn't start on Wednesday, I told myself I would NOT test until Saturday if it still hadn't come by then. Reasons being was because If for some crazy reason it was positive, both me and Caleb would be there that morning and not have to rush off to work after crazy news like that. I knew I was late for either 2 reasons. 1, being I was pregnant, or 2, the fertility medication I was on. And I was certain it was the medication since I had taken two tests and both were negative.

Skipping forward to Friday, my sister Shandell came up to visit. I told her I still had not started and that I was so confused as to why. I was freaking out and Saturday felt so far away. I was a little crampy and honestly felt like aunt flo was coming. I had NO feeling that I was pregnant. I don't know if it's because I have just basically trained my brain to think that way or what. But I had no feeling of whether I was or wasn't.

Saturday morning rolls around and I was awaken at like 8 that morning by a crazy dream I had had. This was the 3rd dream I had had in the last 2 weeks and all 3 told me I was pregnant. Was it in my head? Was I thinking about it that much for it to consume my thoughts and dreams? So when I woke up, I knew I HAD to test. Caleb was still sleeping and still didn't know that I was late and that I was going to test because I still thought for sure it was my medication making me late. I went to the bathroom, peed on that fancy little stick. It was the clear blue digital kind so It sits there and just blinks and after a little bit will say pregnant, or not pregnant. I sat there while it was blinking, having ALL these crazy things going through my head. I ended up putting a square of toilet paper over the little screen because I was too nervous to look at it. I ended up lifting the toilet paper to see and it was still blinking. My heart was pounding. I was nervous. This was the most nervous I have ever felt taking one of those tests. And trust me when I say I have taken plenty. I sat there looking in the mirror, prepping myself for a negative. I decide it's finally time to look at it. I take a deep breath, and quickly pull up the toilet paper. PREGNANT.

"Hoooolllly shit" were the first words out of my mouth. Positive. Positive?! Am I reading this right?! I pick it up and yep! a BIG FAT POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!! A MILLION thoughts are running through my head. How can this be? After soooo many months and months of trying and the most hectic month of all it happens?! My heart felt like it was literally pounding out of my chest. I was shaking. And then the water works came. I had to tell Caleb. I ran into the bedroom holding the pregnancy test. "Babe...babe! wake up!!" It was still dark in the room. He kinda moans, tiredly opens his eyes, "What?" I was still shaking and couldn't even talk. I just show him the pregnancy test. He looks at it, squints his eyes, then asks, "what is it?" He's blind as a bat, and it's dark so he couldn't tell what it was. I just looked at him, smiled, and said, "We're pregnant!" He sits up, opens his eyes, smiles, and just looks at me. He shouts, "YAY!" He's not really a man of many words. And then, I just lost it. I started sobbing. Staring at the test, crying, laying on Caleb's chest. This was a day I will remember for the rest of my life. After the morning and really not saying much about it and letting the news sink in a little, we started to talk about it. Crazy news. Best day ever. I felt so blessed. Prayers had FINALLY been answered. Going from such a low in the week to such a high in a matter of days was seriously a roller coaster of emotions. Me seriously thinking days prior to our news that we were probably gearing up for IVF to waking up and getting a positive pregnancy test was seriously crazy. And the fact that what did it was these 3 things: 1. Me being on metformin. 2. Me losing about 10 pounds. and 3. Caleb being on his fertility vitamin. Nothing more. Finally going through the crazy side effects of these drugs paid off. And I was beyond happy.

I wanted to start telling family right away. I wanted to tell the world that I was pregnant! I didn't want to keep any secrets! Caleb wanted to wait to put it up on facebook till we were more in the clear of miscarrying. And it's been hard to not even blog about it! It's been torture keeping it a secret!

Saturday, the day we found out, I ended up at my parents house. Earlier that day I had printed off the picture above of me and Caleb and we were going to show my family the next day at our weekly Sunday dinner. It was torture keeping it from all my family all day. And throughout the day, I learned that both my brother and sister weren't coming out for dinner the next day. WHAT!? I was NOT about to wait another week maybe two to tell my family. So that night, I texted Caleb at work and told him my siblings weren't going to be out the next day and asked if I could just tell them then. He didn't care. I wanted to completely catch my mom off guard so she wasn't expecting it at all. All night, I was trying to get at least my parents in the same room casually so I could tell them and I swear, nothing worked. Haha so I decided to just finally tell my mom. It was me, my mom, my brother Lane, and my sister Kristie and her friend that were in the kitchen. I was leaning against the counter with my heart POUNDING when I said, "hey mom, I have a picture I have to show you." She walks over and I show her the picture like the one above. She looks at it, then looks at me. I will never forget the look on her face. "Is that?....Does that say?...." and I'm just nodding my head yes. I said, "It says pregnant" She just hugs me and starts crying and I'm sobbing and she's like shaking me with excitement. "Are you serious Shalei!?...your serious? omg!...are you serious!?" haha all while my brother and sister figure out what just happened. I look at my mom and we both have red eyes from crying.Everyone was hugging me and so excited, Mom looks at me and says, "we have to tell your dad!!" we walk into the bedroom and I showed him the picture. And if any of you know my dad, he too is a man of many words. haha "oh yeah? hahaha. Oh that's just great Shalei. I'm so happy for ya." We all cried and I proceeded to tell them the story. I sent the picture to my sister and my brother and got great responses from them. It was honestly overwhelming the responses I got. Everyone was SO excited and just SO happy for Caleb and I. All that night as mom was trying to prepare her lesson for church the next day just kept saying, "I can't focus, I'm just too excited!" hahaha Anyways. Caleb had told his parents that night and later throughout the week we let his siblings know. It has been a crazy emotional best month ever. I should be 8 weeks on Tuesday. So still early, but getting closer every day. Every day is a blessing and I feel SO grateful every day that another day has come and gone and that I've still been able to carry this sweet little baby that we love SO much already. 

As far as how I am feeling, 5 weeks was when I actually got small waves of queasyness and was tired. I took 3 naps a day on my days off. I was a bit crampy, and just not myself. 6 weeks and there was bigger waves of nausea. 7 weeks came and I now have been nauseous all day every day. I get dizzy sometimes. The thought of food makes me want to barf. All that sounds good ever is fruit. Fruit anything. Oh, and pizza pie cafe. So random. But I am definitely noticing more nausea, food aversions, yet have to eat like every 2 hours or I get so sick. So I am CONSTANTLY snacking. Mainly on fruit, which I guess isn't awful, but I still feel like a cow with how hungry I am ALL. THE. TIME. And there is no way around it. When the stomach wants food, you give it food. No ifs ands or buts. There's constantly toast or saltine crumbs in my bed. oops! Sorry Caleb ;) Work has become a challenge. When i'm that nauseous and leaning my head over the toilet to maybe, maybe not throw up, the LAST thing I want to do is work. I'm praying I can get through this first trimester and still continue to work but we shall see. I'm just taking it one day at a time. And then the rest are all the typical pregnancy symptoms. The bloat, the growing, all of it. All in all, I can't complain. It could be much worse. And I'm honestly grateful I get to experience this. For a while I seriously thought I would NEVER get this opportunity so it being here, no matter how sick I am, I am truly grateful. 

Baby is due in November just before Thanksgiving. I have my 2nd appointment in a week and am nervous, yet looking forward to it. 

We can't wait!!