Squirt Buddy

I am officially 9 weeks pregnant today. Woop woop!! Here's an update:

Caleb has officially nick named our baby "squirt buddy". He will come and do a soft belly bump with his and ask how squirt buddy is doing. I told him one day I had to come home from work because I was feeling awful. His response?...You tell squirt buddy to be nice to you. haha I think it's adorable.

Squirt buddy is about the size of a grape and about 1 inch long. It's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks. The eyes are fully formed, but the eyelids are fused shut and won't open till 27 weeks. It has tiny earlobes, and the mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. CRAZY cool! Amazing really.

I feel....pregnant??....haha sick? Sick 24/7. It's been rough. I am nauseous pretty much all day every day, but it DEFINITELY gets worse if I don't eat every 2 stinkin hours. Which leads to my next symptom.

Food aversions!! UGH! I think this is the worst thing for me! I feel like my gag reflexes have been heightened by a million. Food does not taste the same it used too. Even my favorite foods taste awful. I will spend all my energy in making a dinner and then not being able to eat my plate because it tastes really bad, or I simply just want to gag. It's been very, very frustrating because I'm nauseous, so I will try to eat, but then I can't get anything down. I have wasted more food than I want to admit. It's just a vicious cycle. I feel like I am still losing weight because of it. Everywhere but the belly region. I feel like if I had an appetite, the nausea wouldn't be quite as bad.

As for other symptoms, I am tired a lot and I get tired VERY easily. As in, I usually have to take a break with me simply getting ready for the day. I will achieve a task, then just feel wiped out. So I really haven't been able to accomplish much. I feel extremely guilty because of it. My house is needing some love and I just feel I haven't been a very good wife lately because I feel like I'm slacking on everything. (cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, even getting ready for the day) Sorry Caleb! :(

I have to use the bathroom ALL the stinkin time! It's quite inconvenient. I usually wake up in the night once or twice and by the time I get up for the day I am running to the bathroom again.

Then the usual occasional headache and growing chest and belly.

I want to share a couple of experiences so I can look back and laugh or remember how this pregnancy was. So, story #1:
It was late and Caleb was working. I called him and said I was headed to bed and to have him wake me when he got home. I went to bed STARVING cause I couldn't find anything appealing to eat. A little side note, I have been taking b6 with unisom for nausea and the unisom is a sleeping pill. So once I take it, I'm usually out. Caleb got home and kinda stirred me. He said he was starving and was going to go get McDonald's breakfast. Another side note. Super random but if there IS a food that MIGHT sound ok, it's usually Mcdonald's sausage egg mcmuffins and their hashbrowns. Ha so when Caleb told me he was going to get some I told him to bring me a back a hashbrown. That would hopefully cure my growling nauseous belly. He came back and had to wake me up again to give it to me. I was exhausted. I was curled up in bed with the hashbrown in my hand. I would take a bite, then doze off. 5 min later, I'd kinda wake up and remember I'm still eating, so i'd take another bite, then doze back off. Ha pretty sure it took me like a half our to finish that tiny little hashbrown.

#2: Mornings have been awful. When I first wake up, I have to find something to put in my belly within like 10 min or it's just all downhill from there. It's been a daily struggle because of the awful food aversions. But one night, right before I woke up, I was dreaming about toast with sugar and cinnamon on it. I forgot about this and would eat this all the time growing up. When I woke up, that was the FIRST thing I thought of and did. And to my surprise it tasted great. I was able to get two slices down. Sounds silly but I think God was helping me there because It had been such a struggle for weeks. So for the last 4 mornings, that's what I've been eating first thing when I wake up. Super random but kind of funny!

#3: I cut back my hours at work. For now anyways. I was having a hard time putting in my 7+ to 9+ hr days. With being sick and exhausted it just hasn't worked out. I feel silly just going to work for 4 or 5 hours, but at the same time, I do what I can and I do what's best for me. Yesterday when I woke up to get ready for work, I was extremely dizzy. I had gotten a pretty bad sunburn the day before from being outside for like half an hour and I think that played a role in why I felt so awful. Note to self: APPLY SUNSCREEN WHILE PREGNANT. Apparently you are more prone to burn while pregnant. All this when it wasn't even that hot out and half the time I was sitting in shade! Anyway,

I got up, and struggled getting ready to go to work. I debated just calling in but I feel like I have already been a burden and didn't want to be one of "those girls" that calls in all the time. I finally got ready, I looked like death, but I was ready. I got out the door and headed to work. It was one of my worst days yet. I got to work and had to leave during our meeting that morning to run to the bathroom to puke. I was constantly having that feeling of right before you throw up. The sweating, the spins, the mouth watering, It was awful. I just kept telling myself that I had 4 hours to go. One hour at a time. It was apparent that I wasn't doing good. After our meeting my manager came up and asked if I wanted to go home. YES PLEASE. I came home and literally layed on the couch all day long. I was especially nauseous, could not get a single thing down, Caleb was working a double and wasn't going to be home till around 11 that night. I just wanted him. I will admit, I had hit a breaking point. That night as I was trying to eat, I just sat there and stared at my food sitting on my plate getting colder by the minute. I lost it. I needed Caleb, a good cry, and some sleep. I was exhausted. I was starving. I was nauseous. I called Caleb a little after 9 and told him I was taking my prescribed nausea medicine and was going to bed. I couldn't sleep great but today I woke up and felt it was a new day. Fresh start. Hopefully a day of feeling not quite so awful. I did do better than yesterday. Still didn't feel great but at least I wasn't laying in bed all day. I used every ounce of energy to do all the laundry, dishes, go grocery shopping (which feels GREAT to have done) and make shepherds pie...which I sort of ate. :/ But, I'll consider that a day of success.

We have officially announced our pregnancy on Facebook and Instagram and holy moly! I am overwhelmed with how many people liked and commented on our post. There is so much support for us it's crazy.

And for other news, Caleb has to go to Boise again here in a couple weeks and sadly this time I am not going to be able to go with him. I'm not loving this idea. I think since being married (for almost 5 years might I add) there has been a total of 3 nights we have not spent together. And those were two times of me having to go to Utah for hair shows. So, call me a baby, but I HATE being away from Caleb. Especially at night. I told my parent's I am going to stay with them for the couple of nights so I'm not alone here. But, it's all for good reason. He's doing great with work and good things are coming our way.

Speaking of Caleb. I just have to say, I am one blessed lady. He has been nothing but sweet, understanding, and just so great dealing with me and me not being myself lately. I appreciate more than he will ever know how hard he works for us and our future, and him just being amazing. I couldn't be more blessed. I love that man with every ounce that I am.