4th of July

This years 4th of July I was honestly somewhat dreading. Sad and selfish, I know. But I have not been able to enjoy this holiday with my husband for 5 years now. It's one of my favorite holidays and I always just feel like I am the third wheel when I tag along with whatever is going on. So, that along with some random pregnancy wacko hormones (I've only had like 2 hormonal episodes) this year was not the best mix. The night before the 4th, I was just kind of a hormonal mess. I was seriously bummed that I couldn't spend the day with Caleb. That's really all I wanted. Plus, the 4th of July is our engagement anniversary. It was 5 years since me and Caleb got engaged. To me, that's a great excuse to celebrate. I always feel like Caleb is working on the important days and then in the past, I've always worked or something too and our schedules always clashed. So this year, I was just going to tag along with my family. I woke up on the 4th, Caleb was long gone to work, so it was just me all morning and into the afternoon. I tried my very hardest to make the best of the day that I could. I made myself breakfast while I listened to ALL the people and planes flying by outside. We live a half a block away from the park where the parade is going on, so my whole street is packed with cars and people. I hung out, took my time getting ready, then headed to Caleb's work to drop him off a drink and say hi before I went to my parents house. While Caleb was working away, my family had a bbq, a water fight, and just hung out. I'm not going to lie, I love my family and I'm grateful they are close, but I couldn't help but feel like the 3rd wheel since everyone was out with their spouses riding the motorcycles, playing with their kids, and what not. My two younger siblings, the two that aren't married were with friends too. So it was just me, my older brother and his wife and their two kids, my younger sister and her husband and son, then my parents I spent most of my day in the house with my mom, attempting to help make food for the bbq, and cleaning up doing dishes and what not. It was fine, and I'm grateful I wasn't stuck at home doing nothing, but, just missed Caleb, A LOT! I didn't even get any pictures because, well, I didn't have anything to take and I wasn't just going to take a bunch of selfies of me cutting up fruits, sitting on the couch, and doing dishes.

The official day we got engaged 5 years ago! That was the best 4th of July I have EVER had.

My mom sent me this picture of us with my niece Emma. The CUTEST little doll on this planet.

I really hadn't felt great lately either so I was ready to go home later that evening/night. Caleb had gotten home not too much earlier than I. We both decided to skip out on fireworks this year. Nights are rough for me, and Caleb was wiped from working in the heat all stinkin day. So we hung out inside and I honestly went to bed fairly early. I could hear fireworks going off I swear all night long and was bummed I didn't see any but what I saw from my drive home from my parents. It's all ok. There's always next year. I think I say that every year on the 4th because every one for the last 4 years has been kind of a flop for whatever reason. I'm trying to not be so selfish because I know that there are plenty of people out there that don't even get to see their spouse on any holiday, so I am still grateful, but I would be lying if I said I had the best day ever. I wish we had schedules so that we could enjoy every holiday together or enjoy a weekend out camping without him having to do work related SOMETHING. But, I know it's what we have to do, so I will make the best of it and cherish the moments I DO have with him.

As for other news, my hair....UGH my hair!!!! Long story short, I have done I think 9 processes on it in the last month and a half. I should have NEVER tried to change it from blonde to something so drastic. I now know to NEVER do that again. I'm on my own with my hair. So I have been doing all these processes on it myself. I FINALLY got back close to my natural color which was what I wanted so I can slowly put some blonde back in. I don't think I will go back as blonde as I was, but I definitely wanted lighter than what I've had for the last month ish. Here's a couple awkward selfies.

Before this I was blonde, then brown, then red, then orange from a color correction, then copper, then dark brown which then faded to this brown, then I added those few streaks of blonde in the front. I wasn't loving the dark brown on me. So, on Sunday, our internet was down and I decided I would do a color correction on myself...

Which led me here. This was just right after the color correction. I knew it'd leave me orange and I knew I'd have to put a color over top. I was GOING for close to my natural color. But for whatever reason, my hair did not take at all and went straight yellow. I still do not know why. I'm blaming my pregnancy hormones because that is a legit thing that can happen because I did everything I was supposed to and formulated my color correctly too. So, after dealing with seriously straight up yellow hair for a day, Monday morning I woke up and put a shade darker on my hair...

Which now leaves us to here. It's as good as we are going to get for now. It's pretty close to my natural which was what I was going for 2 processes before. My hair still feels pretty great considering what I've put it through in the last month. I actually don't mind this color and I feel it goes best with my skin tone. After taking a little hair break, I think I will go through and add a few highlight to brighten it just a little more. But as far as COLOR goes, I am done. I'll stick to highlights. haha What a freaking mess. 

And other news, Libbie is just too cute. 

Just look at her. I love when she has her little tongue sticking out. She's so obnoxious, yet so fun and lovable. 

I babysat my niece and nephew the other night while their parents went to a movie. I love their kiddos SO stinkin much! I seriously wish this little boy was mine. Such a sweet boy.

And yesterday I went out to my mom's to help her tend my sister's little boy.

He had just woken from his nap and was being super snuggly. He just kept laying his squishy cheek on either my shoulder or my cheek, and my mom had captured the moment. Makes me heart melt when babies do that!

That's all as far as updates! I'll do my pregnancy update tomorrow since those are always such long posts ;)