The belly is getting super big. Things are really starting to not fit. All my non maternity shirts are quite tight. Even most of my pajama shirts are too small. I have a couple BIG shirts and I've basically been living in those and my loosest sweats I own.
I have had another stressful week if you will. I'm sorry these posts lately have been kind of a down but it's life, and I'm sure things will perk up soon. So, I will just say what I need to and get it off my chest.
We'll start with my rash. I went in last Friday to renew my prescription. Long story short, my insurance wouldn't cover it till the 7th of this month. So that left me with a week and a half of no stuff for it and that was very frustrating. So I've been using the smallest amounts to get me by in hopes I can make it till next week. I know It won't so that was just frustrating. I pray it doesn't spread without the ointment. But, on the plus side, the rash is getting better. VERY slowly, but surely. It's still definitely there but it doesn't itch as often as it used too. I still have scratch attacks and spots where I've scratched till it's bleeding, but it is getting better. I've had it for almost a month now and If I were to guess, at the rate it's clearing, will probably take another month to two months to go away completely. But, I guess we'll see. Either way, it should clear up with giving birth here in 3 months.
Last Monday I had my glucose test. Rewind for a bit. For some reason I have been TERRIFIED of doing this test. Even way before I became pregnant. I have dreaded it for as long as I can remember. It's caused me tons of stress and anxiety about the whole thing. I've heard horror stories about it. I do not do well with needles. So the blood draws were terrifying to me, along with possibly feeling sick from the drink. I could care less what the drink tasted like, it was those two things. I was ESPECIALLY nervous to fail this 1 hr test and have to retake the 3 hour one. That was my biggest fear. Probably more so than giving birth. Either way, I knew I had to do this test. I was told to eat 2 hours prior to my first blood draw. So, that's what I did. I got there, had my blood drawn, drank my drink, then sat in the car for an hour because I mainly just wanted to stay still and not make any sickness feelings worse by moving around. Caleb was able to come with me to all of it. He's great. As long as he can keep me calm and laughing i'm usually just fine. And that's what he did. The hour went by fairly quickly and it was time to go back in for the 2nd blood draw. That time went better than the first.
And that was it. I was done. I survived. It wasn't bad. The worst was probably the blood draws. I overall felt ok. I could feel like my body had plenty of sugar but I was ok. Now the waiting game to see if I passed. I wouldn't get results till the next day. The next morning my doctor called and told me I had failed my test. I failed by 7 points. She told me I had to take the 3 hour test which was my worst fear this whole pregnancy coming true. I hung up and I may or may not have lunged myself onto my bed and cried all morning. I was so worried sick about doing this test. I felt embarrassed that I failed this first test. I called the lab to set up my appointment for the 3 hr glucose test. I also asked what to expect so I can prep myself. She said there that they do 4 blood draws through an IV which makes it so I have to sit in a classroom the whole time along with the sugar drink that has double the sugar compared to the 1 hr test drink. She told me I had to fast and couldn't eat anything past midnight. Great. As if ANYONE would want to go take a 3 hr test, 40 min away from home, drink a highly sugar drink on an empty stomach, get an IV, and sit there and get your blood drawn 4 times. It's straight up torture, ESPECIALLY to a pregnant woman. Oh, and if you puke it up, you have to start over on a different day. Lovely. I just felt scared. Stressed. Very anxious. I knew it had to be done, but I just couldn't stop freaking out about it.
Well, long story short and after MANY phone calls and frustration, I now just have to retake the 1 hr test but fast doing that one. I cannot tell you how RELIEVED I am for now to not have to do the 3 hour test. I know I may still have to, but I have a 2nd chance at passing this first test.
One thing that's especially frustrating to me is, that it seems there is NO standard procedure for this. Every doctor seems to do this test different than others. After talking to plenty of people that have had to do the glucose test, some say, fast prior to the test, eat before the test, eat 2 hours or 1 hour before the test, eat as your normally would, only eat protein prior to the test, some get fingers pricked for blood, some get blood draws, some get their blood tested before the test and also after, some only get their blood tested after, some get to drink the drink at home, some don't, like, I don't understand how that can be accurate?! I'm no expert but It seems to me that I'm sure that there are plenty of false positives or false negatives for results. Because there is no standard I find it hard to believe the accuracy of the results which makes me not want to do the test at all. ANYWAY, after all that drama, I will probably be retaking my test some time next week because for now, I want to just not even think about it and not worry about it. It's causing me way too much stress. I seriously prraaayyy I pass this next test. The nurse said If I fast after midnight that I would most likely get a better score compared to my first test where I was told to eat 2 hours prior. So, there again, why the heck would doctors even have you chance it if they know that eating before the test could make you fail it? It doesn't make sense to me. So, here's to round two of the glucose test. I know I'm not in the clear for the 3 hr one but I am hoping that fasting while doing this not so fun test will let me pass and that I can move on with my life. haha
I don't know if the stress and anxiety of the glucose test had me feeling off, or if it's just pregnancy. I honestly think it's maybe a bit of both. I haven't felt great, I'm starting to get nauseous again along with not wanting to eat food. I'm kinda feeling like I am getting more and more ready to meet this baby and not be pregnant anymore.
Oh! Caleb FINALLY felt baby girl. It's about time! All the times in the past that she's moving like crazy he's at work, or not near me. But he finally felt a few kicks. It's something I've waited for this whole pregnancy. So that was exciting! I think it kind of...idk...I don't want to say weirded him out, but, kind of did at the same time. haha It's just weird to really think about it that that's OUR child in my stomach kicking. Like, I seriously do and am growing a human. It's just crazy if you really think about it.
As for other news, Caleb has worked about twice as much as he normally does and it's causing me to feel quite lonely. I miss him tons during my days or nights or both when he's gone. I haven't felt great to get out, and I have just been trying to stay occupied here at home in our tiny little apartment. I need more hobbies that aren't so expensive. I love to craft but that gets quite pricey. I look forward to the moments Caleb is here and cherish every second!
I am looking forward to our anniversary here in a couple days. Even though Caleb has to work, I'm still hoping for it to be a good day, or night when he's home. I'll take what I can get. I am looking forward to Sunday, because it's a day I get with Caleb, and also I fresh new start to a hopefully good week. Life is kinda stressful at the moment but I know it's just life and it too shall pass. I'm still grateful for Caleb's job, the opportunity to be pregnant and feel lots and lots of baby kicks, my marriage, my family, my dog, just all of it. Life is still good. :)
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